Below - you will find a list of recent articles I have written for DECISION magazine. Please take a look through the list of titles below. Then just click on to one you would like to read. Please feel free to re-produce any of these articles. All I would ask is that you mention my authorship & copyright.
Some years ago, a massive medical study was undertaken in the U.S. They used old-age pensioners as the "guinea-pigs". What they wanted to find out, was why some old folks live longer and healthier lives than others. Thousands of pensioners were involved in this study. They were subjected to batteries of medical tests & questionnaires. The researchers kept tabs on them over the decades that followed. And guess what ? They found that one of the most statistically significant factors was Belief. In other words, those elderly people who believed that their health was excellent, tended to live longer. Those who believed that their health was poor, tended to die sooner. And this was irrespective of the actual clinically measurable state of their health, at the start of the project. So for instance, if two people were diagnosed with a serious illness (like Cancer)...and one person believed his/her health was excellent, while the other believed the opposite...the individual with the positive mind-set usually recovered, and lived longer...while the other person unfortunately had the opposite outcome.
You get what you expect
In fact, the researchers concluded that "believing your health to be excellent" is as statistically significant as non-smoking !
Talking about Cancer...yet another massive U.S. study throws some interesting light on that particular illness. Overall, 50% of cancer patients recover, while the other 50% die. And this has been the case since studies began over 50 years ago...despite the vast sums spent on cancer research ! This time however, they wanted to find out which of the many therapies was most highly correlated with healing. These therapies included Chemotherapy, Radiation Treatment, Surgery, Yoga, doing nothing etc.
After surveying thousands of case histories, they concluded that, no matter what was done, the patient had a statistically similar 50% chance of recovery ! So, in other words, whether you opt for Chemotherapy or Yoga, your chances are still the same. You still have a 50% chance of healing !
The doctors doing this study were taken aback and puzzled by the results. They thought that there must be at least one factor they could correlate with recovery. After all 50% of people do get better. So what's the secret ? And in the end they found it. What they discovered was that those patients who "expected to get better" tended to do just that. And those patients who expected to die, tended to die. "Expecting" to recover is different from "fighting cancer". Expecting is the same as Believing. It’s a quiet inner confidence. You just "know" you are getting better.
The power of Belief
Belief is an incredibly powerful force in all our lives. It affects us as individuals, and as groups. Those individuals and companies who believe they are winners, tend to be just that...and vice-versa. During the last war, many Germans and Japanese believed they were "superior"...and achieved astonishing military results. They almost pulled it off. And beliefs are generally slow to change. So despite Hiroshima, many Japanese apparently still believe themselves to be intrinsically superior to lesser mortals.
You could of course say that beliefs are merely illusions...or delusions. Beliefs seem to reside within the deep inner wiring of the mind. And whether or not they correspond with objective facts…they are still powerful ! So if I happen to believe that I am extremely intelligent (despite an abysmal academic track record)...then I am intelligent. And all of my behaviours will be driven by this inner belief. Think of Einstein !
How lucky are you ?
Check this one out with yourself – Do you believe that you are generally a "lucky" person ? Or do you believe (like a lot of people) that you are really "unlucky", one of life’s victims ? Whenever an officer was presented to Napoleon for possible promotion to the rank of general, he is alleged to have always asked..."Is he lucky? – I only promote lucky officers!"
Believing yourself to be lucky is certainly a more pleasant belief to have, than the opposite...even if it is an illusion, and does not correspond with an objective scientific study of your life to date ! Positive beliefs feel good and make you healthy. Negative beliefs feel bad and make you ill. It's like the old question – "Is the glass half-full or half-empty?"
Every couple of years a new Flu epidemic spreads from Asia. Some people (as soon as they hear about it) say – "Oh I always get the Flu"...and they do ! Other people say - "I never get the Flu"...and guess what?...they never do !
People who suffer from mental depression, are always loaded down with negative beliefs (illusions)...about themselves, about others, and about life. These beliefs have such a devastating effect, that they are often driven to suicide as the only conclusion.
Your Beliefs create your Future !
So if beliefs can affect something as complex as the immune system, and your very life - think of how they can affect your business and professional success ! It has given me great pleasure over the years, to meet people who have enhanced their existing possible beliefs even further - in order to achieve even more in their lives. But even more gratifying has been the experience of learning with other people, who have succeeded in completely reversing a negative set of beliefs...and replacing them with a completely new set of positive beliefs. The real secret of confidence and success is after all, positive beliefs.
Some years ago, when I was running one of my management courses in England, we all got into a discussion about beliefs. One lady (in her late 50s) told us the following story, against herself. Here is how she put it....
"On the street where I grew up as a little girl, there was one family who had three little daughters. These little girls however, were extremely ugly. In fact, they were almost hideous. And as you can imagine, kids can be very cruel. So, of course, the rest of us called them 'the ugly sisters'. And to make matters worse, their mother always treated them as if they were the prettiest little girls in the world. She used to dress them up with ribbons in their hair, as if they were really pretty. But this just served to emphasise their sheer ugliness. The contrast between their pretty clothes & ribbons, and the way they really looked, just made them look even more grotesque !
Then later on as we all grew up to be teenagers, we would all go to dances at the local tennis club. And of course the three ugly sisters went along as well - to everyone's amusement. Because their mother still treated them as if they were the prettiest girls around - they actually acted as if they were ! The overall effect was hilarious - just to see them preening themselves as if they were so beautiful - when all the world knew they were so ugly!
Anyway, the end of the story is....that all three of those girls married a handsome young man with a good job, and they all have lovely children...while I’m still an old maid!"
Copyright - Larry McMahon. All rights reserved - but feel free to copy this article, post it, quote it, think about it and forward it on to others. The only requirement is including the following footer with it...
Article by LarryMcMahon. Visit www.larrymcmahon.com for more original content like this. Reprint permission granted with this footer included.
For more thoughts about Self-Confidence just click here.
Have you ever achieved something so brilliantly, that even you were amazed ?It could have been a round of golf, or a speech or a tough negotiation session.But whatever it was, you seemed to be “on a roll”.It was almost like you couldn’t miss.And yet at the time – even though you were performing at your brilliant best – it all seemed so easy somehow !I call this all too rare phenomenon “Peak Performance”.
And of course we have all had this sort of experience from time to time.The trouble is that it is so unpredictable.If only we could turn it on at will, whenever we needed it !After all, when we perform at the peak – that’s when we really make a difference.The outstanding performance is what counts, whether we are talking business or the arts or sport.
Those of us who have to perform in a more exposed way ( where our effectiveness or results are immediately obvious to everybody ) are particularly bedevilled by the elusiveness and unpredictability of this phenomenon.Professional golfers and opera singers can be almost paranoid about it.Opera singers worry about not being “on form”.Pro golfers can literally disappear off the scene, if they’ve lost it.
So what is "Peak Performance" ?
I deliberately put Peak Performance in the vague category of “phenomenon”, because so little is known about it.Even the experts can tell us very little.And by experts, I mean the people who actually experience Peak Performance frequently.Even Mozart, when asked to explain how he composed music, said that it just seemed to “happen in a pleasing, lively dream”.And this from the guy who produced two world – class musical compositions per month, during his all-too-short life !
From my own work with business leaders and others over the past number of years, I would like to throw in a couple of observations…which you can check with your own experience.
In the "Zone" !
When performing at the peak, most people go into a trance, or “altered state of consciousness”.That is to say, you are no longer in your normal awake state ( when your conscious mind is supposed to be in charge ).Whenever you are totally focussed on what you are doing, you slip into this altered state.Think of the that timewhen you were writing that brilliant report.Someone comes up to your desk, and asks you would you like a cup of coffee.A couple of hours later, you snap out of your “trance” to find a cold cup of coffee sitting there on your desk, that you had totally forgotten !It seems that your subconscious mind somehow needs this trance, as a “resource” state in which it can bring together all the relevant talents, knowledge, skills and insights that are relevant to the task at hand ….while, at the same time, screening out all irrelevant distractions.Many sports people also report that when they are playing really well, everything (including the ball!) seems to move slowly !In other words, they too go into their own sort of trance !
A trance as such is not always the deep somnolent state, so often associated with Hypnosis.It can sometimes be quite active.In other words, when Michael Flatley dances – he also trances !
The Risk Factor
Another observation is that, for many of us, Peak Performance often switches on as an automatic response to danger. This can happen on the battlefield, or in the boardroom, or on the tennis court.As soon as your subconscious “perceives” danger, it seems to automatically switch on the Peak Performance response.This enables your subconscious to instantly bring into play whatever it takes, to enable you to survive and win !
Have you ever been in a car crash ?Many people report that, during the crash itself, everything seems to “slow down” in perceptual terms…while in real time, everything is high-speed.This “slowing down” could be very useful on the battlefield, enabling you to take evasive action…but maybe not much use when you’re strapped into your driving seat !
The "Secret Ingredient"
What I have discovered is that, for each of us, a special physical sensation switches on inside us, whenever we perform at the peak.And it’s a different feeling for each of us.This feeling is the quality marker, or ISO 9000, which your subconscious uses.And interestingly enough, you will tend to get the same feeling every time you perform brilliantly…whether it’s at the AGM, or giving a speech at your daughter’s wedding, or on the golf course.
This Peak Performance Feeling is what provided the vital clue in my work.It is triggered by the subconscious.And Hypno-Training is a method for accessing the subconscious.In this way, many executives have now learned to get some control over this hitherto elusive phenomenon.They can literally “program” themselves for Peak Performance every time !
You hear on the grapevine that a friend or business associate has just had a nervous breakdown, or "a bit of a turn".How do you react ?Most of usmake a few sympathetic noises....then get straight back to our own busy lives.But what happens if it's your turn next ?
As business becomes more hectic and competitive, keeping us all busier than ever before, so also Stress (the silent killer) is padding quietly through the boardrooms of Ireland.And not just the boardrooms !Stress is wrecking people's lives at all levels in our society.The symptoms are everywhere, from teen-age suicides through to middle aged executives with ulcers and heart attacks.
Fight or flight
Most of us have heard about the "Fight-or-Flight" syndrome.It is probably the best-known definition of the way the stress effect kicks in for all of us.Way back in the "Hunter -Gatherer" era ( say 50,000 years ago ) our ancestors roamed the African savannah.We had neither cars nor laptops back then.But we had exactly the same bodies and brains as we have now.In Darwinian terms we evolved to thrive in small nomadic tribal groups on the plains of Africa.But here we are now, 50,000 years later in a radically different environment..which we created ourselves of course !But Evolution itself moves much more slowly.The trouble is that Evolution hasn't had time to catch up - to enable usto adapt mentally and physically to our high-speed world with its traffic jams, computers and business plans.
Back then on the plains of Africa, imagine you are walking along through the scrubland, gripping your primitive spear.Suddenly a wild animal springs at you from behind a bush !As soon as this happens, your Unconscious Mind instantly switches on a cocktail of chemicals known as the Panic-Response or the Stress-Response.This chemical cocktail creates an instant surge of energy in your system, which enables you to either attack and kill the offending beast….or get away as fast as your primeval legs can carry you !
Nowadays of course, you don't meet too many wild animals.Or do you ?The trouble is that your Unconscious reacts to the everyday worries, hassle and threats you encounter...as if they were life - threatening !Ironically, even though your conscious mind knows your life is not in danger, your Unconscious mind thinks otherwise !Thanks to hundreds of thousands of years of evolutionary programming...it switches on the same chemical cocktail every time...enabling you to physically attack and kill...or run away screaming with terror !One way or another this chemical cocktail is designed to be flushed out of your system, through vigorous physical activity...such as Fight or Flight.
But you, dear Reader, don't normally physically attack and kill your colleagues, bosses or subordinates !You might like to at times, but then there are other considerations.A jail sentence is probably not a part of your life plan right now !
You bottle it up.
So you restrain yourself.You bottle it up.The trouble is though, that those pernicious chemicals are still swirling around inside you.In fact they are still at it for up to four hours after the original incident that triggered the stress-response in you.So later that evening, your spouse asks "What's up with you this evening ?" and you reply "Nothing !".But deep inside, you are still looking for a fight !This is the sort of everyday occurrence which ( if repeated often enough ) can lead to a whole range of stress-related malfunctions and illnesses...and ultimately to the "final solution"!
So how does your Unconscious deal with all of this ?Think of your Unconscious as if it were a vast and powerful computer.It is programmed to take care of you.It does not really care about, your net financial worth, or your car or that board meeting this afternoon.It only cares about you !
Despite its vast complexity, at one level it is very simple.It wants what is good for you, and does not want what is bad.So how does it knowwhat's good and what's bad ?Like I say, simple.If you feel good, it's good.If you feel bad, it's bad.Your own feelings operate like an internal quality-control system - a kind of ISO 9000.So if you are suffering from stress, it knows you are feeling bad.And it wants to stop that.So what it does is set up a progressive "Warning System".Here's how it goes......
Your "Warning System".
You know the way sometimes at work, things start getting too much for you ?Maybe you develop a pounding headache, or a stomach cramp, or you just start feeling extremely irritated.That is what I call your Early Warning Signal.It's just your unconscious mind telling you to stop..."Get out of here! - Take a walk !"Remember, your Unconscious only cares about you, and your personal welfare.It does not care about that report you should have finished by now...or that fellow executive who has been quietly sabotaging your strategic plan.
Early Warnings operate in different ways for each of us.But do you know when you are getting your own Early Warning ?Do you know when you are reaching your own breaking point ?Because each of us has one.And you ignore it at your peril !
But let us imagine that you are in the middle of a real business crisis.There is so much that needs doing...and so little time...and only you can really sort this one out...and your head is splitting...you’re starting to twitch.You cannot afford to stop.So much depends on you.So somehow you try to ignore the warning signal, and you carry on....
If this pattern repeats itself often enough, after a while, your Unconscious begins to notice.It's almost as if it begins to say to itself, "This guy is not really paying attention...he’s ignoring my Early Warning Signal...maybe I need to increase the signal, to make him stop !"And that is when it turns on the 2nd Level Warning.
The 2nd Level Warning usually takes the form of a malfunction or illness, which is specifically selected by the Unconscious, to slow you down.Your Unconscious is extremely versatile.It looks for the most effective way to slow you down, very often going for the weakest link in the system.Usually it is the sort of disability that you can just about live with.You can still function in your work...just about.You are still clocking in the hours.But you are also taking the tablets !And life is no longer enjoyable...in fact, it is pretty miserable.Typical 2nd Level ailments are Insomnia, IBS, Depression, Fibromyalgia, Ulcers, High Blood Pressure, Auto-Immune Disease, Tinnitus, M.E., Skin Rashes, Chronic Headaches, Colitis, Chronic Back Pain and Panic Attacks.But as far as the Unconscious is concerned, anything goes...as long as it works!Frequently these psycho-somatic conditions affect areas such as the brain, the skin, the back, the immune system, the digestion system, the inner ear or the neural system.
But then you are a highly-motivated achiever !You're sick, you're feeling really bad...but you carry on anyway.After all you are indispensable.They couldn't manage without you.Wanna bet ?
Eventually your Unconscious gets the picture.It realises that you have been ignoring these warnings also.And now you are sick.You're in pain.In fact...life is not worth living.And of course it still wants to help.So it does the obvious thing.It turns on the FinalWarning.Usually what it does is simply increase the intensity of the 2nd Level Warning.Thus, depression becomes suicide, blood pressure becomes the heart attack, the ulcer becomes cancer.The main thing though, is that the Final Warning is terminal !It's a bit like industrial relations discipline procedures in a way...only far more serious.
So - take action now !
As a decision-maker you pay a lot of attention to the functioning of your organisation.You look out for the warning signals - the key ratios and controls that tell you when things are starting to go off course.And you take immediate remedial action.Is it really too much to ask that you take as much care of yourself as you do of your business ?And yes, you can take remedial action at any stage.There is no reason why you cannot continue to run your business or department successfully...and enjoy your work and your life to the full, at the same time !
Copyright - Larry McMahon. All rights reserved - but feel free to copy this article, post it, quote it, think about it and forward it on to others. The only requirement is including the following footer with it...
Article by LarryMcMahon. Visit www.larrymcmahon.com for more original content like this. Reprint permission granted with this footer included.
Do you have a Stress problem ? Do you already suffer from a stress-related, or psycho-somatic illness ? Would you like to learn how Hypnotherapy can help you to heal from this illness and the underlying Stress problem, which fuels it ? Then just click here for further information.
Are you in charge of Training in your organisation ? You might be interested in arranging a 1-day Stress Management Seminar for your colleagues ? If so - just click here
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“I’ll ride my hunch on this one”. How often have you heard a successful business leader say something like this ? So much for scientific management ! – you might well say. Despite the business textbooks on “Decision Theory” which MBA students have to plough through – most business leaders make their most difficult and creative decisions, by using plain old intuition.
So, what is going on here ? And why does intuition seem to work so well – even when the decision is extremely complex ? They say that most of us can pay attention to a maximum of 7, plus or minus 2, things or ideas at the same time – with the conscious part of the mind. This happens typically, when you are really concentrating on something. You are then literally using the conscious part of your mind – at maximum stretch. This happens typically when you are learning a new set of skills. Of course, everything else that is going on in your brain ( and body ) at the same time – is being managed by your Unconscious Mind. That means that one part of your Unconscious is operating your breathing system – while another is managing your blood circulation – and another is creating millions of new cells in your body, every couple of hours etc. In fact it would be no exaggeration to say that the scope of the Unconscious is vast.
Try to imagine an organism which is perhaps 50 times more complex than the internet…..and you begin to get the idea ! It is this same vast “computer” you are dipping into….when you make decisions “intuitively”. The Human Mind is really too complex for any of us to understand…with the conscious part of our mind. I guess that is why the “experts” know so little about its mysterious workings.
Trust your Unconscious
But just because we don’t have the blueprint for the mind, doesn’t mean that we can’t get more mileage from it. And that is precisely what you’re doing, when you “ride your hunch”. Your own Unconscious seems to contain an exact record ( in every sensory detail ) of every experience you have ever had in your life…since birth – and maybe even earlier than that ! That is why it is possible to regress to early childhood or infancy, under hypnosis. In this way you can experience some delightful childhood event – as if it is happening right now. Brain surgeons tell us that if you move an electrode around different parts of the brain ( during surgery ) , the patient will often re-live events from the past, in vivid detail. You may have noticed that sometimes, a very elderly person cannot remember what happened yesterday. But then he can get very excited about something that happened when he was very young. He assures us that the experience is so vivid. It’s almost like it happened yesterday !
Your very own Unconscious Computer !
So there you are, with this vast data-bank of experience – stored away in your Unconscious. Maybe it’s just as well that most of it is “forgotten”! Personally I like to imagine the Unconscious, as if it were a huge computer – packed with programmes. Some of these programmes are genetic…like the “breathing programme” and the “heart-beat programme”. They are wired into the computer at birth. But then other programmes are learned….like your “car-driving programme” or your “golf-ball-hitting programme”. You had to learn each of these activities initially – using the conscious part of your mind. But now of course, each of these activities has been taken over by a part of your Unconscious. So nowadays, when you drive your car, it’s like you’re on “automatic pilot”. That’s why, sometimes you arrive in the office – and you can’t remember leaving the house….but you must have….because you’re here in the office !
The Master-Programme
It also seems to me as if there is a “Master-Programme” in the computer as well. This Master-Programme permeates and overrides all the other programmes. According to this Master-Programme, your Unconscious Mind will only do what’s best for you…as best it knows. And of course, it only knows your total life history to date ! But based on this, it really does want the best possible deal for you. It wants what’s good for you – and does not want what’s bad.
So how does it know when something is good or bad ? Here’s where the incredibly complex Unconscious Mind becomes incredibly simple ! If something feels good – that means it’s good. If it feels bad – it’s bad ! Feelings can be a bit like the ISO 9000 of the mind. They can be signals from the Unconscious.
How you make decisions
So here’s what I think happens when you make intuitive decisions. I have to say “I think” because I cannot prove the case. But then nobody can really prove any case – when it comes to the human mind. All we have are hypotheses. So here comes mine… When you have a really difficult decision to make, you first of all assemble all the relevant information you can find. Then using your analytical thought processes ( part of the conscious mind ) you look for the obvious right decision. That’s why crunching the numbers sometimes does work ! But what happens when crunching the numbers doesn’t work ? Well of course, that’s when you “sleep on it” – or put the decision to one side, for later consideration.
That is also when your Unconscious goes to work. Your unconscious computer is now switched on…and beavering away for you…while you get on with the rest of your day’s activities. That is why when you come back to consider the issues later – you just get this “gut feeling” about what is right to do. Somehow you just “know” what to do. So, once again, you ride your hunch. Your unconscious computer knows everything that your conscious mind knows about the variables involved in the decision. But of course it also knows lots more. It knows your total life history to date…it knows all about the details of all those other decisions you’ve made in the past….it knows the meaning of all the body-language signals transmitted unknowingly, by all the people you’ve talked to about this decision…etc…etc. That’s why it sends you that “feeling”. It is simply a signal from your Unconscious, telling you what to do.
Very often the successful leader will say; “I make most of my important decisions, by following my intuition. Sometimes I get it wrong. But usually I’m right !” It’s almost as if they expect to be right, most of the time. And usually they are ! All that’s happening in this instance, is that the decision-maker is “trusting” his/her Unconscious. And the more you trust your Unconscious – the more reliably it performs !
Free enterprise is all about Winners and Losers.Our business pages are full of stories about the winners – the guys who managed to sell out, before the recent share crash.The same is true of the sports world.More and more of our newspaper space and TV airtime is devoted to celebrating successful sportspeople.Every aspiring young Rock Band wants to hit the big time…like U.2The pressure is on – at every level of our society – to be a success.Nowhere is this more evident than in the academic world.Every school-leaver knows the score.If you do well in your school-leaving exams – you can go on to University and be a success.But if you do badly………….
The trouble is that not everybody can be a winner.So what about the losers ?The pressures on people to be successful seem to be increasing in every walk of life.The more obsessed we become about Success – the more vulnerable we all become to the downside….the fear of failure !So rather than becoming more inspired by the prospect of Success, many of us become almost paralysed by the fear of Failure.
How Fear affects you
So how does this fear operate ?Well, let us say you have a major business presentation coming up next week.You have to present to the board of a major potential new client organisation.And there’s a lot at stake.If you land this deal, your future earnings and reputation are virtually guaranteed.If you lose it, you could be walking the streets.
So naturally you prepare your materials carefully for the big day.You do your research.You even do a “dry run” with your colleagues – to make sure your presentation has that compelling professional touch.The Powerpoint looks really impressive.You leave nothing to chance.And of course ….you worry.And that’s when the rot starts to set in.
Now your Imagination gets in on the act !
The more you worry -the more you start imagining all the things that could go wrong.You can already see yourself there in that boardroom next week.You can see those grey-suited clients sitting around the table.You can see their faceless expressions.You can hear the nervous tremor in your voice, as you make your presentation.You can hear the harsh rasping sound of the client’s voice – as he asks the very question you are dreading.Already you can feel that tight knotted feeling in your stomach – the sweaty, clammy feeling in the palms of your hands – that thumping sensation in your chest, as your heart-beat accelerates ...
So what happens ?Your unconscious mind cannot really tell the difference between reality and a really good daydream.So it gets “fooled”.It takes that fantasy on board.And what does it learn ?It learns that making that presentation is bad for you – because it feels bad.So it starts “pushing the buttons” inside your mind, in order to stop you doing it.That’s why – when the big day finally arrives – it looks for the most effective way to stop you doing it – and make sure that you never try to do anything like this again !So you get up on your feet to make the presentation…….and your mouth goes dry, so you can’t talk…..or your mind goes blank, so you can’t think….or your knees start shaking, so you can’t stand…..or you just freeze.
Your Unconscious takes what you give it
It’s everybody’s nightmare.But the real problems are caused, because you have the nightmare before the event.The Unconscious merely takes what you give it – and then processes that information in order to “help” you in the most obvious way.It does its best to stop you from ever doing anything like that again.If it feels bad – then it is bad !That’s how the Fear of Failure operates.All it’s doing is trying to “protect” us from Failure.And it does it in the most efficient way !
The scenario is just the same with students facing into school or college exams.They start imagining how dreadful they are going to feel – when they fail.Without a word being said, they can pick up the anxiety of parents and teachers.“Your whole future depends on this exam !”Some students even seem to psych each other up ( or rather down ) before an exam.They try to outdo each other about how badly they’re going to do !So no wonder so many of them actually under-perform or fail !Some students even have panic-attacks in the exam hall.
All performers are, to some extent, vulnerable in this area.That is why the top golfer loses his touch.The opera-singer loses his voice.The concert pianist’s fingers freeze.
And the solution ?
It’s disarmingly simple.By all means do have a daydream before the event.But make sure it is not a nightmare !The Unconscious takes what you give it.So…..have a pleasant daydream beforehand.And in this daydream, you are performing brilliantly.Lay on lots of vivid sensory detail….so that you really start to enjoy the fantasy.Once you start feeling good – that’s all your Unconscious needs to know.It then starts to “push the buttons" - to make imaginary success into real success for you !
Article by LarryMcMahon. Visit www.larrymcmahon.com for more original content like this. Reprint permission granted with this footer included.
Do you have this kind of problem, where you are under pressure to give a "performance" of some kind ? Call it "Stage Fright"...or "Exam Nerves"...or "Performance Anxiety".....or simply...."Fear of Failure". You could be a public speaker, a singer, a business executive, a sports person. The point is...would you like to conquer this debilitating condition - and just perform at your confident, brilliant best - every time ? Learn how Hypnotherapy can do just this - by clicking here !
Hypnosis --- an ancient solution, for modern problems
--- Larry McMahon
Published originally in "Decision" magazine.
When I launched my first "Untap your True Potential" programme in the Irish Management Institute, some years ago - I was not too sure what to expect.The course itself was aimed at business leaders, which was fair enough.But the training methodology was based on hypnosis (which was a bit unusual, to say the least, on a management development programme).And this was clearly stated in the course brochure.So the real question was: - "Will serious business people actually sign on for a course like this ?" To my immense relief, they did.In fact the course was a "sell-out" - and has continued to be so ever since.
Another surprise for me was the type of backgrounds the participants came from.I was expecting perhaps some H.R. people or closet "New Age" types would emerge from the ranks of industry for this event.Now such people do of course come.But, by and large, most executives who attend come from a "harder" background.They tend to be people like engineers, accountants or scientists, by background.In other words - they are people who have been trained that, if something can't be measured, then it doesn't exist.That they were signing up for something as "nebulous" as hypnosis – was quite a revelation !
The winds of change
It is almost as if, having measured things all their lives, they get to a stage where they realise that some truths just cannot be measured.I mean most of us have personally experienced telepathy, for example.So we know it exists - but we cannot explain why.And when a farmer wants to find water on his land - he hires a water-diviner.Just because the water-diviner is thinking about water - how does the data about the water location transmit itself from beneath the earth, through the divining-rod, into the diviner's arms ?Nobody can scientifically explain this phenomenon.Yet it does occur.So some things can be true - even if we cannot measure them.
"Scientific Materialism" has been worshipped for the past 100 years or so.But maybe the sands are starting to shift a little bit, in recent years ?Hence perhaps, the growing interest in different types of spirituality and meditation.And of course - in the field of Medicine, there has been a perceptible movement away from conventional to alternative therapies, such as Acupuncture, Reiki and Bio-Energy.Hypnosis (or Hypnotherapy) is yet another of these alternative approaches.There is also a growing interest generally in the power of the mind.
How I got started
I first began to learn and practise hypnosis, back in the early 80s.As a management trainer, I became fascinated by the possibilities of using hypnosis as a learning technique on the courses I ran.Having spent the previous eleven years using all the conventional techniques of the training game, such as case studies, lectures, group-work etc - I felt there had to be a better way to trigger profound learning changes in managers.And I believe I have had such a breakthrough with my own particular technique - called "Hypno-Training™".Subsequently, I discovered that hypnosis can trigger even more dramatic changes in the area of Healing.
How does it work ?
So what is hypnosis exactly ?In a nutshell - it is simply a technique for talking directly to the Unconscious Mind...and then asking it to make whatever changes may be necessary - as per the requirements of the subject.The technique involves the use of certain types of language patterns.These language patterns initially lull the subject into a very relaxed and dozy state - usually referred to as a trance state, or a state of altered consciousness.It can be similar to that drowsy state we all know - when starting to drift off to sleep.The amazing thing, is that when we are in a trance state, the Unconscious is extremely open to suggestion or persuasion.Nobody knows why this should be - but it is almost like a "window" into the mind.
For myself, as a hypnotist, it feels a bit like talking to a very receptive (and user-friendly) computer !While in the actual trance state - the Unconscious can be informed about the suggested new "programme" – and then asked if it will agree to implement it.Once the Unconscious is happy that the new programme offers a better deal than the old one - it is usually only too happy to oblige !
Your own benevolent Unconscious Computer !
In fact the Unconscious Mind does behave rather like a computer.It's a computer which is packed with programmes.Some of these programmes are genetic (e.g. the Heart-Beat programme) - while others are learned (e.g. car-driving).There also seems to be a "Master-Programme" - which permeates all the other programmes.And this Master-Programme wants what is good for you...as best it knows.And of course, this programme has access to your total life-history to date - in every detail !All of my experience indicates that the Unconscious is a benevolent and central part of you.It is not the "cess-pit of horrors" which some Freudian psycho-analysts might lead us to believe !
For example, under hypnosis, your Unconscious Mind will not agree with anything - unless it is in your own fundamental best interests.So the whole experience is positive.But "what about stage hypnosis ?" - you might well, ask.The real secret here is that, in any large theatre audience,there will always be a small number of genuine "exhibitionists".These are the people who volunteer themselves - and end up on stage doing silly things.But then, for them of course, it is a positive experience !
Origins
Very little is known about the possible origins of hypnosis.Most text-books on the subject, refer to the 18th century Austrian doctor, Anton Mesmer as being the earliest recorded practitioner of the art.At the height of his career his services were much sought after by the aristocracyin pre-revolutionary Paris.Hence the term "Mesmerism".Yet if you dig deeper, you find that Mesmer himself learned his methods from an Austrian Jesuit.Dig deeper still - and you find that this Jesuit was mainly inspired by the work of an Irish healer !This Irish healer was called Valentine Greatrakes (known as "The Stroker").He was born near Dungarvan in 1628 of planter stock – and died there in 1682.But he too was quite a celebrity in his day, healing many people in a remarkable way.But beyond Greatrakes the recorded trail fades away.
My own suspicion is that the origins of hypnosis may be a lot older.People I have met from places as diverse as Gujarat in India to The Cameroons in Africa - tell me of village healers or witch-doctors who use hypnotic techniques in their work.And they have apparently been doing so for thousands of years.There are even hieroglyphs in one of the Egyptian tombs - referring to patients going onto the temple, where they were induced into sleep, and healed by the priest.Could it be, that what we call "hypnosis" nowadays, is simply a very ancient healing art - under a new name ?
New developments
The late American hypnotherapist, Dr Milton Erickson was probably the most famous practitioner this century.Although the late Dr Jack Gibson of Naas, Co Kildare, probably did even more pioneering work in the field.Because of his own professional credentials in the medical world however - Erickson was able to do a lot to get hypnosis accepted as a legitimate therapy in U.S. medical schools.But people who write about Erickson today, seem to think that it all started with him.What he has certainly done is to help make hypnosis "respectable" as a healing therapy - and not just a music-hall stunt.
The possibilities for hypnosis are immense - as we re-discover how to harness the sheer power of the mind, to trigger both performance-improvement and healing in our lives.
In my own case, as a management trainer, I was able to develop a revolutionary form of training - based on the principles of Hypnosis. I call it "Hypno-Training™". It is very different, highly enjoyable and very effective ! If you would like to see some examples of how it can work - just click here
I have been practising Hypnotherapy now for over a quarter of a century - helping clients to heal from all sorts of illnesses and disorders. Yet I still continue to be astonished at how people can trigger such amazing results for themselves, using this therapy. At one level, the client is just lying down, having a restful enjoyable experience. And yet at the same time he or she is triggering such profound internal healing changes.
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Some years ago, when I was in Sudan I went wandering around the ancient city of Omdurman - after dark ! Omdurman is basically a mediaeval Arabian marketplace. It is a warren of narrow streets lined with all sorts of stalls, with merchants crying their wares. In fact it is a bit like stepping back into a much earlier time zone. At first I was very nervous - expecting one of the dark-skinned, white-robed locals to slit my throat at any minute.
How wrong I was ! There was such a happy carefree atmosphere. I remember thinking; - "But these people are so poor...yet they seem so happy !" The atmosphere in Omdurman that evening was full of joy. When I attempted to buy some of the exotic spices on sale in one of the shops, the merchant refused to accept money from me. Instead he said in his simple English;- "Welcome to my country !"Later on a little boy ran after me to return a coin I had apparently dropped in the street earlier on.
More recently - walking around the streets of my native city of Dublin - I am struck by how unhappy and stressed people seem to be. I keep patting my pocket, to make sure my wallet hasn't been pinched. Yet Dublin has experienced an economic boom in recent years. People are a lot more prosperous. But (is it my imagination?) they do not seem to be as happy as they seemed to be, when I was younger. Are they perhaps more depressed ?
About Depression
Depression is an insidious illness.It strikes both rich and poor.There is an awful irony - when people work hard to make a lot of money, in order to be happy...only to end up rich...and depressed as well.Depression affects people of all ages and walks of life.And it tends to be a "secret" ailment.People who suffer from it, very often develop an external mask of sociability and bonhomie - to hide their inner turmoil.They fool the world - but never themselves.
Of course people who never get depressed, say it's "all in the mind!"And so it is - but in a very cruel way.We all have our own mental illusions about the world we live in.The mental world inhabited by the depressive, is a truly horrific one.
The distress and mental agony suffered by depressives is very real for them.Having met many sufferers in my own practice over the years, I now believe that Depression has to be the very worst illness of all.No physician or therapist can fully understand the horror of Depression - unless they themselves have also been sufferers.And it is so difficult for the depressive to explain what it is like - to the rest of us.That is why they often use metaphors such as "Black Hole" or "Black Dog" to try to describe it.
The reason I conclude that Depression is the worst of all illnesses - is because virtually all sufferers contemplate suicide - and many of them eventually succeed in ending their torment in this way.What other illness is so horrific that people want to kill themselves ?Patients with Cancer or Heart Disease all want to live.Depressives often unfortunately want to die.
Chronic Anxiety and Panic Attacks, are part of the Depression complex. Many people suffering from Alcohol-Dependency, are using alcohol as their own "medication" for depression...only to find that alcohol itself can cause the depression to get worse !
It's hard to imagine...
If you know someone who suffers from Depression, it can be difficult to imagine what they are going through.Here is one way for an outsider to begin to grasp at an understanding.Most depressives experience an extreme form of one of the "negative" emotions, such as....fear, despair, anger, self-hatred, grief, guilt, hatred, sadness, unworthiness etc.Very often, there is no obvious "cause", such as a childhood trauma.But the feeling is there nonetheless.And it is very real to the sufferer.Let's imagine that the negative feeling is Anxiety.And the person can tell you that much at least.Then try to remember the most terrifying experience you ever had in your own life.Re-live that terror in your mind.Then try to imagine what it might be like, if it was multiplied in its intensity by a factor of5...and that it continued indefinitely in your life, for no particular reason.
A government minister recently got himself into hot water, by referring to suicide as a selfish act.Even though he had to apologise - he was in fact not that far off the mark.But "self-absorbed" might be a more accurate term.When you suffer from Depression, you become totally absorbed in your own internal mental pain - to the exclusion of all else.When people commit suicide they do not consider the suffering and grief they will cause their loved ones.The thought literally never crosses their mind.Such is the nature of this dreadful mental condition.
What about treatment ?
First let it be said that many sufferers tell nobody about it - and the condition goes undiagnosed. But if diagnosed, the G.P. will either refer the patient to a psychiatrist or a psycho-therapist. It rather depends on the preferences and experience of the G.P. Psychiatrists usually prescribe medication. These mood-altering drugs generally have the effect of "masking" the symptoms somewhat. However they do not unfortunately unravel or cure the underlying "programme" which activates the condition. But they can at least pacify the patient temporarily - which can be a good thing. Many of the clients I see, who have been treated by psychiatrists, describe it as a "hit or miss" procedure. First we try one drug. If that doesn't work, let's try another...until hopefully they hit on one that does the job.
Psycho-therapy at least has the merit that no drugs are used.It is sometimes referred to as the "Talking Cure".The idea is that the patient is encouraged to talk freely about his/her problems...until eventually the underlying cause is brought to light.This knowledge is then supposed to somehow lead to a cure.This therapy incidentally can often take many years !Unfortunately however there are a number of problems with Psycho-therapy....
For many patients, knowledge does not lead to a cure.In other words, even if they do find out what caused all their problems...they still actually have those problems !Only now they can tell all their friends why they are so miserable.But they are still miserable.And quite often after spending years in therapy - they are actually more miserable than when they started !By talking about their problems for years to the therapist - it has now become official !
Another worrying aspect of Psycho-therapy is the implied assumption that Depression is caused by trauma, especially in childhood.I have to say that - in most of the cases I come across - the more likely cause seems to be an inherited genetic tendency.Beside which, focusing on the cause or even the problem itself can often paradoxically be counter-productive.A far more productive approach is to focus instead on the solution !
Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT)offers a more practical approach to the problem. It is based on the idea that Attitude and Behaviour tend to match each other. So, first change behaviour patterns through various exercises - so that eventually, the attitudes will shift. Some sufferers have found CBT to be very helpful.
The Best Solution of all
The positive outcome desired by every depressive is happiness.Simple, isn't it ?When you're happy - you literally cannot be depressed !Happiness is actually the cure.And of course it is produced by your own internal "pharmacy" - with absolutely no negative side-effects.
And everyone knows how to be happy - even if that knowledge is forgotten - buried deep in the subconscious mind.Given the opportunity to experience happiness again, the subconscious mind will always enthusiastically seize it.
To the best of my knowledge, of all the treatments & therapies on offer, only Hypnotherapy (when creatively operated) can actually trigger this profound type of change - where happiness replaces misery. Because Hypnotherapy is "solution-oriented", the Unconscious is only too happy to co-operate. That is why the positive changes are usually triggered faster...and are also permanent and generative.
Copyright - Larry McMahon. All rights reserved - but feel free to copy this article, post it, quote it, think about it and forward it on to others. The only requirement is including the following footer with it...
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Do you suffer from Depression, Panic Attacks, Alcohol-Dependency or Chronic Anxiety ?
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"I have a dream !”We are all familiar with the famous Martin Luther King incantation.If anyone was a visionary leader – he was !He had a dream, and his dream came true.Of course, he himself did not actually make it all happen.He provided the vision.It was then up to his followers, U.S. legislators and opinion-leaders to do the actual implementation.Mind you – the same could also be said of Adolf Hitler.He too had a vision, which he communicated to his followers – who in turn made it happen – with devastating consequences.
“Visionary” leadership is all the rage these days.But when business gurus preach about it … somehow they make it sound just as nebulous as “strategic” leadership.So this article is meant to clear the fog – and provide a “nuts ‘n’ bolts” description.So if you want to create your own vision (and make it happen)…read on !
Your own "compulsive vision"
First of all – a compulsive vision is not just visual.It is multi-sensory.It’s really just a day-dream…but full of visual elements, and sounds, and smells, and taste and feelings (both physical & emotional).It fully engages all the senses.The sensory elements should be as intense as possible – i.e. the colours should be really bright, and the shapes should be really clear.This applies to all the relevant channels you use in the fantasy – and specially to the emotional feelings.Really let yourself feel good, as you enjoy your own daydream !They say that with the conscious part of your mind, you can pay attention to a maximum of 5 to 9 things or ideas, at any one time.The best visions or day-dreams take up most of that “data-processing” capacity.
In fact, the unconscious part of your mind cannot notice the difference between reality and a really good daydream.That is why – when you’re having a pleasant daydream – a silly smile appears on your face !And when you’re having an unpleasant or scary daydream – the opposite happens – your heart starts thumping & your breathing gets faster.In effect you are fooling the Unconscious.
How to "install" it
Now we come to the useful bit !How can you use this “technology” to improve your own life and future ?Here’s how….Let’s say there’s something you’d really like to have – like that dream job, you’ve just applied for.All you need to do, is put together a future fantasy in your mind.Imagine the actual moment in the future, when you know you’ve got the job – and let yourself enjoy it !And don’t forget to include lots of bright colours, clear shapes & sounds, as well as physical sensations.And then just let yourself wallow around in the fantasy – allowing the strong, positive emotional feeling to flow through.
What happens then – is that your Unconscious takes that fantasy on board – and starts “pushing the buttons” to make that dream come true !Why?Because firstly it’s “fooled” by the “reality” of the dream – and secondly it knows the dream is important, because of the strong positive feeling associated with it.The feeling is the quality marker.
You've done it before...
Think back over your own life to date.Was there ever something that you really wanted desperately – and you got it ?It could have been a present as a kid, or to go somewhere special, or a person or an achievement.I bet you fantasised about having & enjoying that thing…well before you ever got it in reality !And that’s how & why you got it !See – you’ve been doing this successfully already !All I’m suggesting is that you do more of it !
In case you don’t believe this – it also works in reverse !In other words, if there’s something you want – and you have a daydream, imagining how lousy you’re going to feel…when you know you’ve failed…then that is exactly the result you get.Your Unconscious is a bit like a computer.It takes what you give it.So if there’s something you really want out there – and you’re going to have a fantasy – why not have a positive one ?After all it costs nothing.And at least it’s more enjoyable than a negative dream…and of course it might also come true for you !
When you have such a compulsive future fantasy stored away in your Unconscious, it becomes almost like an inner guiding light or computer programme.Whenever you come to a crossroads in life, you instinctively know which turn to take.Your Unconscious will continue to do what it takes, to nudge you inexorably in the direction of your dream-fulfilment.So fantasies can work for both your short and long-term goals.
The "Inspiring" Leader
If you’re a leader of others, here’s how you can become an “inspiring, visionary leader”.This is so easy.You just use the same approach.First create your future fantasy – but this time make it all about the achievement of your organisational or business goals.Pack it with lots of sensory data plus a really strong positive feeling – like you’re really excited & thrilled.
Then (now this could be the tricky part) - you need to communicate your dream to your followers. But you must use clear sensory language – so they can understand and share the dream.And it is especially important to express your own strong positive feelings in the vision.In fact you may have to exaggerate the expression of these emotions.That’s what Luther King did !By exaggerating the emotional expression, you affect or “infect” your followers.They then take the dream on board as their own.Now here’s the good bit.They go out and make your dream come true for you !
Join the Dreamers !
A man I met some years ago, was telling me about how he used to have a daydream many years before that. In the dream he had his own factory with 50 employees, in a small country town.At the time, he was working as a factory foreman.And the daydream wasn’t really serious.It was more to pass the time during the odd boring working day.But then a couple of years later – things started to happen.What he described as a whole series of co-incidences occurred – at the end of which, he had his factory with 49 employees (close enough !).What puzzled him though, was how everything seemed to just fall into place – without any conscious effort on his part !He just happened to be in the right place at the right time.He happened to meet certain people, who just happened to push opportunities his way !
Since then I have met other people with similar bizarre stories to tell.They had a daydream they enjoyed – and it just happened to come true.The bizarre part is that it involved little or no work or effort on their part.
This raises an interesting metaphysical question.In a world where most people don’t have a dream – they stagger from day to day, hoping for the best – maybe those few people who do have a compelling dream, somehow influence the world around them ? Could the “energy” of their dreams somehow energise people and events around them ?
In the meantime…..think about it…..and……..dream on !
Imagine you are sitting in your office, when one of your staff walks in to ask you a question.Instantly (before you can even think about it) you feel the heat, as the blood rushes to your neck and face...and it happens yet again.You blush a bright red colour !As you fumble your way through your answer - you notice your subordinate looking at you, in a peculiar way.Now you know that he has noticed it too...and is probably beginning to wonder what is wrong with you !
This is the sort ofthing that happens many times a day, to people who suffer from this strange and secret ailment.It's a secret of course - because - by definition - people with this problem don’t go around talking about it.In fact I must confess that I did not realise that Facial Blushing was a problem at all – until I began meeting sufferers many years ago, in my role as a hypno-therapist.
About Facial Blushing
You might say that it is not really an illness as such.And yet people with this chronic blushing problem can find their careers and social lives blighted by it.Some blushers become so obsessed and desperate that they even resort to surgery !There are in fact a growing number of surgeons (especially in the U.S.) who offer a surgical solution.It is called "Endoscopic Transthoracic Sympathectomy". Although this surgical procedure might be classified as "cosmetic surgery", it is nonetheless a major operation. The procedure involves placing a metallic clamp on the sympathetic nerve,in the chest area, to block nerve transmission - as well as collapsing one lung. The procedure can be ineffective or even fatal.Of course like most surgery - it is also expensive.But the claim made is that it can be reversed if the surgery is ineffective.
Most chronic blushers are fair-skinned, with reddish or blond hair.The problem usually begins to manifest itself in puberty - which is significant in itself.There are both male and female blushers.The ones I have met are also usually highly intelligent, and successful in their careers.
For most of us, blushing only occurs when we are extremely embarrassed.If someone catches you out in a lie, in public, for example - it is quite normal to blush.The strange thing about chronic blushers however - is that it often seems to happen back-to-front.In other words - the blush happens first, and is then followed by a feeling of embarrassment (caused by the blush).
When I first started helping people with this problem, I assumed a psychological cause - in other words, that the "feeling" preceded the actual blush.This was because some of my clients had particular psychological issues (as we all have!).Cognitive behavioural therapists act on the assumption that Facial Blushing is connected with Social Phobia.My own similar mistake was to assume that the blushing response was mainly an expression of such underlying feelings.
How Susan changed everything
This all changed some years ago - when a client of mine helped me to find a much better approach and solution.I shall call her "Susan" to preserve her anonymity.Susan was a very bright, confident, out-going and good-looking third-level student.She was and is the sort of person who will never need a psycho-therapist.She had no hang-ups !The only problem she had was....Blushing !
The first time we had a hypnotherapy session - there was no change afterwards in her blushing behaviour.Susan, by the way, blushed whenever anybody (friend or foe) looked at her or showed interest in her.However she was determined to do something about it.So she came back for a second session.This of course put pressure on me - to find a new or different approach.
From our discussions - we developed the following working hypothesis...
1.The Blushing response is part of the sympathetic nervous system – like breathing, sweating, heart-beat rate, blood pressure change etc.
2.It has been part of our nature as Humans, since the beginnings of our species.
3.Therefore it must have a benevolent purpose of some kind.Otherwise it would have been eliminated in the evolutionary process.
4.Because Blushing is experienced by the Blusher - but also seen by the other person, or persons - its function is most likely one of communication.
5.What the Blusher in effect communicates, is twofold - first to other people, but also to the self. The message to others is ... "This to let you know - that I know that you're looking at me!" The message to the self is ... "Let me out of here !"
6.One possible evolutionary benefit might be in human courtship.The Male of the species finds this information very useful (at least he’s not wasting his time !)It also acts as an attractant to the Male.The very same process occurs when the Male blushes, in response to the Female gaze !
7.All that is happening with the Chronic Blusher is caused by a random throw of the genetic dice.He or she just happens to have inherited a hyper-sensitive predisposition to blush.This is a bit like the way some people are born with a faster heartbeat rate than others.
8.So they have an "over-sensitive" blushing system.In other words they blush whenever anybody (male or female) looks at them !
For Susan and I this was the breakthrough.Just as other genetically determined conditions (such as Haemophilia, Hypertension or Depression) can be ameliorated or cured by the creative use of Hypnotherapy - the same we found was true for Susan's Facial Blushing.
Two Types of Blushing
While every case is unique - I tend to meet two types of "Blushers" in my practice. The first type are people who do have a Social Phobia of some kind. With these people, Blushing is an expression or symptom of the underlying phobia. Quite often it is just one, of a number of symptoms they have. With a client like this, the best approach I find, is to use Hypnotherapy to unravel the underlying Social Phobia - as well as the Facial Blushing.
The second type are "Pure Facial Blushers". Like Susan, for them the problem is an automatic physical response. It is not triggered by psychological problems.
Everybody can blush of course. But for the Pure Facial Blusher, the blushing response mechanism is hyper-sensitive. He or she is usually blond and fair-skinned. And the trait often runs in the family. So he/she has inherited a genetic pre-disposition to blush easily and frequently. For the Pure Blusher, I now use a hypnotic methodology - which recognises and adapts to this reality.
The Pure Blusher usually blushes more - and seems to be the most active in seeking a cure. He/she does not feel fundamentally inadequate socially. Perhaps that is one reason why Blushing just seems so pointless to him or her. And of course it can be like a blight over one's social life and career.
Epilogue...
The last time I heard from Susan, she told me that she doesn't "even feel the need to blush anymore - or even think about it."It is gratifying for me to be reminded yet again, of the power of the Human Mind to trigger such dramatic changes in the mind/body system. After over 25 years as a therapist, I am still amazed how Hypnotherapy can help my clients to unravel & change such complex responses as Blushing. And of course, on a personal/professional level, I get a special "buzz" from finding yet another way to outwit the surgeon's scalpel !
So...thank you Susan !
Copyright - Larry McMahon. All rights reserved - but feel free to copy this article, post it, quote it, think about it and forward it on to others. The only requirement is including the following footer with it...
Article by LarryMcMahon. Visit www.larrymcmahon.com for more original content like this. Reprint permission granted with this footer included.
Have you a problem with Facial Blushing ?
Would you like to learn how Hypnotherapy can help you to cure this condition ? Then just click here for further information.
For more articles, on related subjects, just click here
You can see them huddling in doorways outside office buildings, shops and schools.There they are – the Smokers…….the lepers of modern society.There they stand, with their backs to the wind, puffing away.Have you ever noticed the special stance they adopt ?It’s a sort of “smoker’s semi-crouch”.Their body language oozes guilt !These people are prepared to submit to any indignity, in order to get their “fix”.They are the victims of legislation, taxation and social discrimination wherever they go.Despite this, and all the anti-smoking propaganda, they continue to smoke – in the full knowledge that they are effectively cutting up to 20 years off their expected life-span.Such is the sheer addictive power of Nicotine.
You are effectively “hooked” after your third cigarette.This is true for most people.After your third cigarette, you progress slowly ( but inevitably ) over the years, till you make it into the “Big League” of 20 to 40 per day.Nicotine has to be the single most addictive substance known to Man.It is certainly far more addictive than Heroin or Cocaine or Alcohol – and far more lethal !Most people who drink alcohol are not addicted to it – but everyone who smokes is !
How Nicotine keeps you hooked
Research scientists are beginning to find out a bit more about the way Nicotine affects the brain.Effectively what seems to happen with smokers, is that a part of the brain starts to adapt to Nicotine – and then begins to “specialise” in processing it – and firing off the pleasure signals in the brain.So even though it is a lethal poison, Nicotine insinuates itself into the inner workings of the brain.Pretty soon it becomes an indispensable part of the “mind-body” system.Hence the dreaded withdrawal symptoms smokers experience, when they try to come off the drug.That is also why – even though you might have kicked the habit, and been off cigarettes for years – as soon as you inhale even one cigarette, that special “Nicotine Department” in your brain, immediately clicks into action.It realises that it’s “party-time” again – and starts working really hard, to make you smoke more & more !What it’s trying to do is to make up for the lost Nicotine in-take over the years !That is why, when ex-smokers take up the weed again – they find themselves smoking more than they’ve ever smoked before !
So who still smokes these days ?
Surveys indicate that 30% of the population smoke.More females than males are smokers.This is a reverse of the way it used to be back in the 60s.Sadly many young girls continue to smoke because Nicotine suppresses appetite.They believe it makes them slim and attractive – despite the smell off their breath, hair and clothing.
I recently asked a doctor I know, who worked in one of the major hospitals in the Dublin area, how many of her medical colleagues smoked.Here is the shocking answer I got...50% of the doctors...and...(wait for it !)...80% of the nurses !So it just goes to show – a brilliant intellect & full knowledge of the horrific consequences of smoking, are no defense against a substance as powerfully addictive as Nicotine.You might well say:“But these are the same people who continuously warn us against the perils of smoking!”
No wonder the Health Boards are so embarrassed by all those white-coated healers crowding into the smoking rooms in all their hospitals around the country.So they throw some money at the problem.That way, they can say they are at least doing something about it !What they do is hire “Smoking Cessation” counsellors.I must say that personally I have never seen any evidence to suggest that “counselling” has any effect whatsoever on smokers’ habits.
So what does work ?
You can try Will-Power.This is the most difficult method of all.The vast majority who try will-power, fail.However it must be said that a very small number of people do succeed this way.They should be really congratulated for having the courage & persistence which most smokers find impossible.
Then there are Nicotine-based chewing gums, tablets and patches.The trouble with these is that you are still getting the drug (i.e. Nicotine) – albeit through a different delivery system.So you are still effectively “feeding your habit”.And that is why most people quickly revert to cigarettes – either during, or immediately after their “course of treatment”.One good thing about these Nicotine-based products is that at least you are not getting the tar-intake, while you are on them.
Some people find that Acupuncture works for them.This method is tapping into the wisdom of ancient China.While even the practitioners are not sure precisely how it works – it seems that it interrupts or interferes with the “electrical circuitry” of the brain & body.It can apparently turn on the brain’s pleasure signals (endorphins), trigger a relaxation response and interrupt the circuitry of the withdrawal symptoms.
Two new drugs have been promoted in recent years, as possible cures for smoking. The first one is Zyban, an anti-depressant marketed by GlaxoSmithKline. The second one is Champix, produced by Pfizer, which interferes with the receptors in the brain. In clinical trials, it was found that one year later, 10% of smokers taking a placebo were still off cigarettes. 15% of smokers taking Zyban were still off. And 23% of smokers taking Champix were still not smoking.
Do your research and think carefully before thinking of taking either of these drugs however. On 1st July 2009, the FDA (Food & Drug Administration) in the U.S. required both Zyban and Champix to carry a "Black Box Warning", the agency's stongest safety warning. This is due to the side effects, including depression and suicidal thoughts & actions.
The Hazelden Foundation in Minneapolis is probably the world’s leading clinic for treating addictions.They favour the 12-step type of approach, as used for alcoholics.They have adapted this also for cigarette addicts.They run a special 7-day “Smoking Cessation Retreat”.One year later 38% of the participants are still off the cigarettes.The claim they make is that this is 5 times higher than most other methods.
It is a paradox that the most effective method for coming off cigarettes, is at the same time the easiest, the fastest and the least intrusive of all.That method is Hypnotherapy.For example with my own individual anti-smoking sessions – one year later at least 80% of the participants are still off the noxious weed.
A bit like Acupuncture – it belongs in the category of alternative medicine.It’s rather like accessing the super-computer we all carry inside our skulls – and programming it to bring about healing, learning & change at a deep level inside us.And what we can say for certain is that it does work – most of the time.In this instance, Hypnosis is simply a methodology for communicating with the sub-conscious mind...and asking it to make the necessary changes (mental & physical) in order to come off cigarettes with minimal effort.
What amazes most people is how enjoyable and relaxing the experience can be.And yet, at the same time, dramatic changes start occurring in the Mind/Body system.For many people there are literally no withdrawal symptoms afterwards.Their health starts to improve.And they discover to their amazement, that life without cigarettes is actually more enjoyable than life with cigarettes.
If you are a smoker yourself - or have loved ones who are – the important thing is to do something. What a way to spend a life – dependent on a drug – which ultimately brings you nothing but misery, chronic illness and a tragically short life !
Article by LarryMcMahon. Visit www.larrymcmahon.com for more original content like this. Reprint permission granted with this footer included.
Are you a smoker ? Would you like to learn more about how Hypnotherapy can help you to kick the habit for good ? Then just click here for all the details !
Are you in charge of Training or Health & Safety in your organisation ? You might be interested in arranging a 1-day Clinic/Seminar for your smoking colleagues ? If so - just click here
We sent lifelong smoker, Bunny Ford, to a hypno-therapy seminar to see if she could finally kick the habit and live without cigarettes.
Larry McMahon has been a practising hypno-therapist for over twenty years, not quite as long as Bunny has been smoking.On April 20th, she attended a one-day seminar in Dublin and at the time of going to print, four weeks later, was still smoke-free.
“It’s like I have been let out of the cell and now I am gingerly going through the Prison to try to get out of the main door before the Nicotine Guards get me and put me back where I belong !Larry’s session is very comprehensive and covers much more than smoking.After the morning session you have a personalised hypno-therapy session.There were six of us altogether.All female and from varying backgrounds.There were the 40-a-days like me, and a couple of milder smokers.We all had different reasons for smoking and different reasons for not being able to do without the weed.We spent the morning discussing our addictions.Like all addicts, we each had different and varied reasons for starting in the first place, and for not being able to stop.We smoked up to lunch time and had a last fag after lunch.From the morning session I would say that everyone there was committed to giving up for good.
Larry explained that the language he uses has to be very unambiguous, and that a lie, however unintentional, would cause the subconscious to immediately shut off and not listen to another word he said.So everything he says has to pertain to all the people in the room and has to be true to everyone.
He told us that he envisages the subconscious like the hard-disc of a computer.Its functions include the day-to-day survival of the body – breathing, heart-beat etc etc.It is also programmed to act in your best interests and so, somewhere along the line, it has had a program written into it that smoking is good.It makes you feel good, therefore it is good and why would you want to stop doing something that’s good for you ?In computer-speak, Larry aims to re-educate or re-write the disc.To do this he re-programmess the part of the subconscious whose job it has been to keep you happy with smoking.He praises the good job this programme has done and gives it a new job to do.But that’s not all Larry does !He will throw in any phobias you wish to be rid of, any weight or other problems that can be addressed, he can do at the same time !Great value for money !
The actual hypno-training itself is somewhat surreal. We had been listening to a docile, quietly spoken Larry all morning.During the session his voice changes from a normal, gentle, jaunt-along sort of voice, to a slow, Merlin the Magician drawl.As Larry drones on and on, you find yourself drifting off – not asleep, not awake, but between the two.You are aware that Larry is repeating what he told you he was going to say before lunch.You already know the story so you just relax deeply and let him do his thing !
It’s been four weeks since I last held, touched, smelt or tasted cigarettes – and boy am I pleased with myself. Actually I have very little to be proud of really except that I made the decision to go to Larry McMahon for a session. I am not saying this has all been plain sailing. I have been a smoker for 30 years and the habit of just picking up a packet of cigarettes and lighting one at certain times does not just disappear. But I am aware of being a non-smoker now – much more than I was consciously a smoker. I wonder when being a non-smoker is just natural to me. I would strongly recommend this method of quitting to anyone who is serious about giving up cigarettes for good. I have tried them all and this one works !”
Are you a smoker ? Would you like to learn more about how Hypnotherapy can help you to kick the habit for good ? Then just click here for all the details !
“It’s hard to swallow !”... “It churns me up inside !”... “It makes me sick !”... “I can’t take any more of this s - - t !”... “It really hits me in the gut !” So often, when we’re feeling really upset or stressed, we use expressions like these. All of these exclamations of course, refer specifically to the Digestive System. It’s hardly any accident therefore – that this particular area of our anatomy, is especially sensitive when we are under stress !
Every emotion you feel in your mind – you also feel in your body. That’s just the way we function as Humans. Think about how you feel physically, when you are stressed, or excited or afraid. Very often this type of feeling manifests itself in the digestive system. You get that tight “knotted” feeling in your stomach. Or you lose your appetite. Or you feel sick. Maybe you feel the sphincter muscle tightening . Or you get Diarrhoea. You get indigestion – or simply a pain in your stomach. Even when you get a stress headache – its origins are usually in your stomach anyway.
That is why so many stress-related (or psycho-somatic) ailments are felt in this part of the anatomy. In other words – if you are continuously under stress – and continuously experiencing some of the above responses – eventually the responses become like a permanent feature of your life ! The more sensitive you are, as an individual, the more susceptible you tend to be to this type of condition. These illnesses can be extremely painful and debilitating.
What sort of ailments ?
So what sort of ailments are we talking about ? Well, you yourself may well suffer from one of them. Or you almost certainly know someone who does. We are talking about conditions such as IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome), Crohn’s Disease and Ulcerative Colitis.
IBS is a common disorder of the intestines, that leads to crampy pain, gassiness, bloating and changes in bowel habits. Some people have constipation. Some have diarrhoea. And some have both. It is a functional bowel disorder without evidence of disease. It does not cause intestinal bleeding or permanent harm to the intestines. It can however be extremely annoying and possibly debilitating. Going to the bathroom can be agonizing.
Crohn's Disease causes inflammation in the small intestine. This disease usually occurs in the lower part of the small intestine, but it can affect any part of the digestive tract, from the mouth to the anus. The inflammation extends deep into the lining of the affected organ. This can cause pain and can make the intestines empty frequently, resulting in diarrhoea. It is what is known as an inflammatory bowel disease.
Ulcerative Colitis is yet another inflammatory bowel disease. It affects the large intestine - causing inflammation. ulcers and sores. The rectum and lower part of the colon, are usualy affected. Again - an extremely painful and unpleasant illness.
Because of the similarity of symptoms, it can be difficult to diagnose which specific ailment is involved. Another problem is that, whatever the diagnosis, the actual causes seem to remain a mystery to the medical profession. And the only treatments on offer, are a range of palliative drugs - which can sometimes reduce the pain and discomfort. It's worth bearing in mind that medication does not actually cure the condition. At best, all it can do is alleviate the symptoms.
The Stress connection !
And yet – most sufferers have themselves noticed the stress connection. When you are under pressure – the symptoms become dramatically worse! And indeed, most medical specialists will admit that there is a stress connection. Every client I have seen in my hypnotherapy practice (with IBS, Crohn’s or Colitis) had a stress or sensitivity problem of some kind. I will go further. In every single case – the actual underlying cause of the disorder was Stress !
And the solution was obvious and straightforward. The Mind/Body connection is painfully evident to the patient. To unravel the underlying causes of IBS, Crohn’s Disease and Colitis – you first have to enable the patient to heal or change mentally. After that – the Body itself begins to heal naturally too.
The answer lies in the Mind...
Why is it that the main thrust in medical care for these ailments, is the use of palliative drugs for the physical symptoms ? Could it be that pharmaceutical companies are not too happy about funding research… which could highlight that Meditation, Biofeedback, Hypnotherapy and regular exercise offer a cheaper, and far more effective solution ?
It is generally accepted by most medical practitioners, that 80% of all illnesses have a psychological component of some kind. In other words – what happens in your mind, can make you ill. This is especially true, when it comes to the various ailments which affect the digestive system. Surely it makes a lot more sense therefore, to seek a form of therapy, which triggers healing in that part of you, where the trouble begins...namely in the Mind ?
The beauty of the Hypnotherapy approach (when used creatively), is that it can trigger genuine mental healing and well-being - so that the Stress-factor is "de-activated". At the same time, it also triggers physical healing in your digestion system...so that it can work naturally, freely and painlessly again.
Have you ever looked at those old family snap-shots (I mean those tiny black & white ones from the 40s and 50s and earlier)... and noticed something interesting ? When you look at these photos of your recent ancestors, the really remarkable thing is that all of your ancestors were thin ! And why ? Because they were hungry, and had to walk or cycle everywhere. Nowadays we all have cars, and spend hours sitting on our rear ends, watching telly. And we’re certainly not hungry anymore.
It is remarkable that almost every middle-aged individual in the developed world is overweight.
For most of our existence as a species, we humans were driven by hunger. As nomadic hunter-gatherers on the African Savannah – we were never sure where the next meal might come from. We had no natural weapons, such as claws or sharp teeth. But we did have highly-developed brains and the ability to hunt in packs, using our own hand-crafted weapons. Most of our brain-power and creativity was focussed on the single, all-encompassing problem of survival. You could say, that for the last 100,000 years, the central existential for the Human race was – “Where’s the next meal coming from ?”
The Real Human Lifestyle
Imagine what it must have been like, living back then on the plains of Africa in a small nomadic tribal unit. The environment was harsh. There are still some small racial groups today (such as the Kalahari Bushmen) living a similar lifestyle. So you didn’t get to eat too often, back then. But whenever the hunting party managed to return with an animal “kill” – then it was party-time ! And the really smart thing to do then, was to gorge on the meat. In fact, the more you could stuff yourself the better. The more food you could store on board, in the form of fat, the better ! In this way, you might possibly survive until the next “kill”. This was especially true if you were an aged tribal member ( that means over 35 !). At that age, if you were still alive, you were already too old to keep up with the hunting party – and thus, past your sell-by date ! To survive – you needed fat, not muscle.
This basic survival lifestyle continued, when our ancestors moved northwards into the cold European climate. If anything, conditions were even harsher.
Old habits die hard
So here we are now (the same species, with the same bodies and brains) in the “post-industrial society”. And our central problem has at last been solved. Everyone reading this article has plenty of food. Your fridge and cupboards and supermarkets are bulging with food and drink. And therein lies another problem…….
Evolution hasn’t caught up yet with our dramatically altered lifestyle. We still have the same bodies and brains, as we had back then. And we still carry within us, the same genetic survival “programmes”. Have you ever noticed how hungry you get, when you go travelling ? You have a good breakfast before you leave for the airport. Then you get to the airport. It’s amazing how peckish you can get, just waiting for the plane. So maybe a couple of croissants and a coffee while you’re waiting. Then you tuck in to the in-flight meal. And when you reach your destination, then it’s time for a really proper meal, with all the trimmings. It’s amazing how travelling whets your appetite !
And yet, the reality is that you have been sitting, doing nothing for most of the journey. And you’re starving ! It’s just another of those primeval genetic programmes kicking in. Back on the planes of Africa – when you went travelling, you really did need extra nourishment. It could take hours, or days in the blazing heat. So today – as soon as your Subconscious “knows” you’re travelling, it does exactly what it has done to your ancestors for hundreds and thousands of years !
And the solution ?
We all know of course, that the reason we’re overweight, is we eat too much…and get too little exercise. Simple, isn’t it ? And the solution ? Well, what you can do of course, is take lots of exercise and go on a diet. But it’s not that easy…….
Most of us are just too busy to spend a couple of extra hours each day doing the necessary exercise. And if you go out walking or running…there’s all that car exhaust, plus the danger of being run over or mugged ! There is something pathetic about all of these gyms and leisure centres, which have sprung up to meet this very modern market need. As you peddle away on your exercise machine, you watch some inane on-screen video, your ears bombarded by high-volume rock music…while the sweat pours down your body getting into your eyes, and soaking your t-shirt and shorts. You might as well be back on the African savannah again !
Why diets don’t work
“Can you hypnotise me to stay on my diet ?” This is the question I often get asked by clients. And I always have to answer – “No !” The problem with diets is that the Subconscious Mind almost always “sabotages” them. The Subconscious always wants what’s good for you. It does not want what’s bad. So how does it know the difference ? Simple really….if it feels good, it’s good. If it feels bad, it’s bad. And let’s face it – most diets do feel bad ! And that is why they do not work. It’s also why, every year some American doctor invents a new “wonder-diet” – and writes a best-seller, based on it. Then the following year…yet another wonder diet best-seller appears.
The Hypnotic approach
The thing about Hypnotherapy is that everything must be “positive”. It works best, when the subject programmes him/herself to literally enjoy those types and amounts of food and drink, which are appropriate…and also enjoy those types and amounts of physical exercise, which are appropriate.
But the big problem, is what to do about that ancient, genetic, primeval gorging instinct, which once served us so well. An approach, which I find useful, is to get the Subconscious to “re-learn”. In other words – it can actually “learn” through suggestion, that there is plenty of food & drink available 24 hours a day….and that therefore, it is no longer so necessary to store so much on board in the form of fat !
Some years ago, I was invited to attend a conference on “Creativity” in Buffalo. I was really excited – already imagining all these incredibly creative types sharing some of their elusive genius with the rest of us. How disappointed I was, when I got there ! The event turned out to be a (very large) gathering of consultants, peddling their wares + an even larger group of creativity academics. Yes – some U.S. universities actually have “Professors of Creativity” ! Most of the conference presentations consisted of these academics reading papers on their latest attempts at analysing the creative process. This despite the fact that Creativity is the exact opposite of Analysis !
The Flash of Inspiration
Most of us are familiar with the “creative flash of inspiration”. You know the way it can happen. You have some important business problem to solve. You gather all the facts. You analyse them as best you can. But you find you are getting nowhere. So you put the problem to one side. You forget about it. Then later on…one evening you’re out walking the dog……..and suddenly out of nowhere…you get your flash of inspiration – your solution.
Your creative breakthrough seems to come “out of nowhere”. But of course, it has to come from somewhere. And the realm it comes from, is of course your own Unconscious Mind. Your Unconscious had been working quietly on the problem all along. And now it has delivered the solution. And all of this incredible creative process has occurred below your level of conscious awareness. No wonder that Creativity is a mystery !
The Mystery of Creativity
Just as the Unconscious Mind defies analysis – so too does the creative process. And yet that is exactly what so many “self-help” books and training courses try to do. They fail because they try to analyse creativity – and then provide systematic creativity techniques.
Mozart, Michelangelo, Henry Ford, Albert Einstein…..think of any number of creative geniuses. None of them ever studied creativity as such. They just did it. And yet their creative output was indeed phenomenal. So where does that leave the rest of us ?
So, how does it happen ?
Perhaps the most useful approach for most of us – is to forget about analysing and understanding it. Instead, we should accept it as a mystery and consider simply what can we do foster it ? Because there are indeed certain preconditions which actually seem to spark the creative flame in most of us.
The most basic precondition of all, is that you need a challenge of some kind. Something needs to be done. Something has to get sorted out. Very few of us can be creative in a vacuum. That is why Arts Council grants are generally a waste of taxpayers’ money. Paying an artist to “be creative” is not a good idea. Paying him to paint a picture is.
Limitations
And here is a paradox. The more limitations or constraints we have, the more creative we seem to become. So if your challenge is to increase your company’s profitability by 10% in one year….but with a reduced sales force…a very limited budget…. and out-of-date technology ….and a major competitor moving into your market….you probably will deliver! The funny thing is, that if you have the same challenge with none of the above constraints – you probably won’t deliver. So in a way, maybe we should welcome these very limitations. They are after all preconditions which somehow energise us to excel.
The Deadline Scenario
One precondition we are all familiar with of course, is time. Have you ever noticed the following type of scenario ? You have a major assignment to complete. Let’s say it’s a research project. It has to be completed in six months’ time. And the results and recommendations must be presented to the Board by a certain date. Have you ever noticed that you find yourself doing most of the work, preparing your presentation the night before – right up against the deadline ? Yet you had a whole six months to do all this ! Why leave it to the last minute ? Your spouse gives out to you. You even give out to yourself ! Well, I’m afraid that’s just one of the quirks of creativity. You see – the Creative Part of your unconscious mind already knows you have six months to play with. And it wants to use all of that available time to facilitate all the necessary “permutations & combinations” going on in your unconscious – for as long as possible. That is why – if you do sit down to finish off that report three weeks earlier….you find there’s nothing there. It’s called “Writers’ Block”. The Creative Part of your unconscious actually sabotages any attempt on your part, not to use the available time to the maximum.
That is also why, when you do sit down the night before the deadline, the stuff just seems to flow out of you…almost like it had been sitting there all along. Poets will often refer to sitting down to write a poem…which then flows out, almost like it had been written already in their unconscious, just waiting to pop out. Mozart himself referred to this phenomenon in a letter to his sister. And when it comes to creativity, he is one guy we have to respect. He produced two world-class musical masterpieces every month – before his untimely death at 35, leaving an incredible output behind him. He described composing as if each masterpiece was already “complete in his mind” before writing it down.
Expect Success !
One other precondition is expectancy. What this means is that whatever challenges are thrown your way…you simply expect to solve them. This can seem like a sort of “arrogance” sometimes to others. A classic example is the way many chief executives make creative decisions. When asked, he/she will often say;- “The way I make decisions is…I ride my hunch….Sometimes I get it wrong…but usually I’m right !” The more you respect your unconscious – the more it delivers. And this is especially true for the Creative Part of your Unconscious. So….the more you expect to deliver creative solutions – the more you will !!
Imagine you’re back again, as a little baby – say two years old. You’re playing quietly by yourself, as children do. Then suddenly, out of nowhere, you’re attacked by a dog ! It’s barking savagely, baring its teeth, snarling. You scream with terror ! Luckily, a watchful adult steps in to save you. But how does this incident get recorded in your infant brain ?
Remember that you are at the “pre-intellectual” stage of your development. So you can’t rationalise or explain this shock occurrence. What often happens in this instant – is that a “phobia-programme” gets installed in your infant / unconscious mind. The programme is quite simple – and goes as follows…. “Whenever a dog appears – experience & demonstrate terror !” It is worth bearing in mind, that this programme is actually a life-saving programme. Based on the data available to your infant brain – this could after all be a wild animal ! And if the original feeling of terror is strong enough – the programme gets stuck.
It can take over your life !
Years later, as a mature adult, the Dog-Phobia-Programme continues to operate. Every time you see a dog, you get a panic attack. Eventually this phobia can take over your life. You become afraid of even going out for a walk….because you never know when a dog might appear around the corner ! And because the original scare happened so long ago, in early childhood, you can’t even remember or understand why you’re so frightened.
As a mature intelligent adult, you also know ( with the conscious, thinking part of your mind ) that most dogs are basically harmless. And that is what makes the whole thing so embarrassing. A phobia is an overwhelming, panic-driven survival programme – wired into your infant unconscious mind. And that is why it will always override the mere intellectual meanderings of the conscious mind.
The above, is a description of how a typical phobia gets installed. Although, in fairness not all phobias (or irrational fears) start this way. But in most cases, the fear is fixated on a particular object or happening. In fact some phobias can seem quite reasonable. Like, a dog really could bite you ! Or people who suffer from a Fear of Flying, know that a plane really could crash !
Irrational Fears
But what about phobias which are triggered by genuinely harmless stimuli ? Think about mice, spiders, open spaces (Agoraphobia), enclosed spaces (Claustrophobia), butterflies, thunder, cats, being seen by others. These are just some of the phobias I come across, in my practice, as a hypnotherapist. “Being seen by others” or Social Phobia is very common. If you know someone who totally avoids social gatherings of any kind – he / she may be suffering from this inhibiting condition. The people who suffer from phobias like this, are usually very intelligent people, and often quite successful in other aspects of their lives. As one client (a successful businesswoman) who suffered from Thunder-Phobia put it to me; - “If I was told I had terminal cancer – I would prefer it to living like this !” The fear may be irrational – but the fear is real !
Can you genetically inherit a Phobia ?
Some phobias are particularly puzzling however. Take Snake-Phobia for example. Some people freak out whenever they see a snake on television. Yet there are no snakes in this part of the world. So it couldn’t really be caused by a childhood trauma. Or people who suffer from an extreme fear of crossing over water – even though they grew up miles away from the nearest river. It raises the question – can we perhaps inherit a genetic pre-disposition to a specific phobia ? After all many of our ancestors on the plains of Africa, would have had a solid, practical reason to be afraid of snakes and spiders. Perhaps those of our ancestors who feared snakes most, tended to outlive their more careless neighbours – and thus reproduce their genes more often ? It is interesting that most of us (while not being phobic about it) nevertheless regard snakes as loathsome to look at. Satan, in Christian mythology, is often depicted as a snake too !
Many of my own clients tell me that the phobia they suffer from, also affects one or more other members of their family. They often imagine that they must have "learned" the phobia from a parent. But it is at least as likely, that the phobia was "inherited".
Milder Phobias
Generally however, most really strong phobias are learned before the age of four. Milder phobias are usually learned in later childhood. In my own case for instance, I attended a particular primary school in Drumcondra - St. Patrick's National School. It's still there, attached to the teacher training college. In those days, the teaching method used by many of my teachers was to beat each child savagely, nearly every day. I soon discovered that it didn’t matter whether you did your homework conscientiously or not. You got beaten anyway. Being a smart kid, I soon learned to be terrified of teachers. It made sense. The more terrified you were – the less frequent the sadistic beatings. Years later as a working adult however I still carried a residual fear of authority figures ( i.e.bosses ). It took years to work itself out of my system.
Can Stress trigger a Phobia ?
Apparently yes. Especially in the middle years - if you happen to be in a stressful situation for a year or so - a phobia can kick in out of nowhere. One client of mine, developed a Fear of Flying. The odd thing was, that he had actually enjoyed flying for years previously. He was energetically expanding his business, at the time - flying all over Europe. It was as if the Flying Phobia switched on, in order to slow him down. He hadn't consciously realised just how much stress he was under, at the time.
Face the Fear !
Another client mine suffered from Arachnophobia (fear of spiders). She thought that she might cure it, by “facing the fear”. So she made a point of studying everything she could find out about spiders. In fact, she became a sort of expert on the subject. In her researches, she discovered that there was a really dangerous spider in Australia (the deadly Red-Back) which can actually kill (unlike its harmless Irish cousins). So she went specially to Australia...to face the fear. Anyway – I’m afraid she came back from her trip worse than ever !
The Solution...
The most productive way I find to deal with phobias in hypnosis – is to start by acknowledging that the “Phobia-Programme” itself, has a positive intention. It is after all trying to save your life (as it understands it). But that understanding is wired into your unconscious infant mind. What is possible in hypnosis, is to tell the Phobia-Programme what it didn’t know about spiders all those years ago. Once this “grown-up” data is accepted by the Phobia-Programme….once it realises that your life is no longer in danger….it simply switches off !
“Am I an alcoholic ?... or just a social drinker ?” How often have you asked yourself this question ? Alcohol (unlike Nicotine) is not inherently addictive. Indeed, it is true, that for most people, alcohol is a positive “quality of life” element. But sadly...for a minority of drinkers – it becomes a compulsive and life-wrecking addiction.
It seems there are three ways of becoming an alcoholic...
If you're depressed...
The first way is, if you suffer from Depression, and use alcohol as your own self-administered medication. You could say that this is yet another Irish solution to an Irish problem. A significant number of the regular customers of every bar, fall into this category. But Drink, as an anti-depressant, is very deceptive !
Initially Drink seems to help – especially if the depression takes the form of a social phobia. Alcohol helps the depressive to feel more relaxed (and less depressed). And the more he drinks – the more relaxed he feels. But unfortunately the “cure” is worse than the illness. The subsequent hangovers are especially bad – and make the depression even worse…thus driving the individual to drink again, as the only form of relief. And so the vicious cycle continues in an ever downward spiral.
Maybe it's in your Genes...
The second route into alcoholism, is through Genetics. If you happen to inherit a genetic tendency towards alcoholism, it can be a real trap. It does seem to be the case that alcoholism can run in certain families. Full marks to those individuals who spot this in their own families – and decide to take evasive action. If you see how booze can ruin so many lives within your own family tree, it can be a very wise decision to abstain totally.
Getting into the habit...
The third way to become a habitual drunk, is through sheer habit & quantity. This one can kick in, if you happen to be in the kind of job where a lot of drink happens to be available. So, if you’re a journalist, a diplomat, a P.R. executive or a barman….watch out ! Also in this category, is the special Irish phenomenon of a regular drink with “the lads”. Of course, some drinkers have all three of the above factors working against them !
Binge Drinking
Binge Drinking seems to be a characteristic we share with other Northern Europeans, like the Scots, Scandinavians and Russians. Is climate perhaps a possible cause ? In Ireland (especially in the West) we have the ritual of week-end drinking. Young men deliberately and systematically drink themselves senseless – every week-end. This is followed by a gigantic hangover for two or three days. They usually don’t turn up for work on the Monday. Then – towards the end of the week, they slowly recover…only to hit the bottle again on the Friday night.
And these are young men, who (anywhere else in the world) should really be out chasing women. What a sad spectacle they make ! And, to make matters worse, their conduct is tolerated or condoned by neighbours and friends. The sheer quantity of booze is almost unbelievable. One of my clients (a successfully reformed alcoholic) told me that in his prime he drank twenty pints of Guinness + ten brandies…every day for a whole year ! I asked him how he got the money to finance this level of drinking. He told me with remarkable candour ; - “I earned it, I borrowed it & I stole it !”
Rock Bottom
Alcohol affects the functioning of the brain. So the alcoholic cannot think clearly. All he can really focus on, is the next drink ! That is why so many alcoholics never even try to come off the drink. And those few who do, are often shocked into it…when they hit rock bottom…or get involved in a car crash where they kill another human being. The “wise” alcoholics are those few, who see the danger before things get too bad.
The AA can help...
For them, Alcoholics Anonymous is the usual refuge. The A.A. approach makes sense in many ways. First the alcoholic is socially pressurised in the group. He (or she) has to introduce himself to the others…. “Hello! I’m Larry…and I’m an alcoholic !” And so the famous “12-step” process continues – with the group of peer alcoholics offering each other mutual support, in their slow struggle back to rejoin the rest of the human race. The truly reformed alcoholic, can never drink again !
As with all addictions, self-degradation is at the heart of alcoholism. That is why the A.A. rightly emphasise the spiritual side of this healing process. Maybe it’s more a case of redemption than healing ! The reformed alcoholic continues to fight the urge – one day at a time – sometimes for the rest of his life.
What about those “Drying Out Centres” ?
If you go to one of these centres, you sign up for 4 weeks or more, of intensive group and individual therapy. These centres are usually residential. And of course, no alcohol is allowed !
But does this treatment work ? Unfortunately, the results are mixed. And yet this very expensive treatment is recommended by the medical profession – and usually even covered by medical insurance ! The setting implicitly encourages smoking – thus effectively displacing one addiction (Alcohol) with a far more powerful one (Nicotine). Many people emerge from this form of therapy, still hooked on Alcohol – but now smoking more than ever !
This whole approach was developed originally by the Hazelden Centre in Minnesota, founded in 1949. They originated the 12-Step Approach, sometimes known as “The Minnesota Model”, which has now become the standard treatment, copied by centres around the world.
And yet … this leading edge centre can only claim a 53% success rate, 12 months after treatment. Click here for details.
But Hypnotherapy is better
Unfortunately all too many reformed alcoholics fall by the wayside. Both the A.A. approach and the Minnesota Model can be so difficult. They both depend after all ultimately on sheer will-power. One weakness of these therapies, is that no solution is provided to cope with the actual chemical reality of addiction. In fact the chemistry of alcohol addiction is not well-understood. Alcohol can insinuate itself into the very chemistry of the brain itself.
Now it’s not that the alcoholic needs yet another drug to be-fuddle his brain. It’s just that (in most alcohol treatment centres) the power of the Mind itself, to re-generate and create its own internal cure, is not fully developed.
Here is how Hypnotherapy can be so effective - when operated creatively. It can tackle all three of the possible causes, at the same time. The underlying Depression can be unravelled and healed. The Genetic Tendency can be counter-acted. The chemical dependency relationship can be neutralised. The Unconscious Mind can be re-programmed – so that “not drinking” becomes actually more enjoyable than “drinking”. As a result, the reformed alcoholic actually finds it easy ... to dry out ... and stay that way permanently !
I’ve been meeting quite a few clients these days, who are suffering from a form of illness – which most other people don’t really notice. But the people who suffer, certainly do know about it ! It consists of an intolerable level of non-stop noise, inside their own heads ! Because this type of illness is “silent” to the world at large, it seems to go unnoticed. But there does seem to be a lot of it about.
The two most common afflictions are Tinnitus and Meniere’s Disease. To add to the distress of sufferers, most medical specialists seem to know little about the underlying mechanisms or original causes – and, to make things worse, they have no cure for it !
With Tinnitus, there is a constant noise in one, or both ears. Sometimes it’s two separate noises – one in each ear. These noises can be high or low pitch.
One theory is that the tiny vibrating fibres (or hairs) in the inner ear, get damaged. As a result they transmit garbled signals to that part of the brain, which manages the hearing process. However, these micro fibres get damaged anyway, as part of the natural aging process - without causing Tinnitus.
Another (more likely) theory, is that the cause lies deeper in the brain - in that part which converts vibrations into recogniseable sounds inside the brain. The cause can be shock, caused by exposure to extra-loud noise and/or psychological shock.
Meniere’s Disease sometimes includes Tinnitus symptoms. But there is also an uncomfortable sensation of fullness in the area of the ears. As well as this, the sufferer has debilitating bouts of Vertigo (dizziness) and nausea.
What causes the illness ?
When a client comes to see me, I am always interested in what was going on in his/her life just before the condition started. It nearly always provides clues to the causes. Ironically (according to my clients) hearing specialists rarely seem to pursue this approach. They are only interested in how the ailment “presents”.
In my own practice, I find that for some people, the problem was indeed triggered by loud external noise – such as an explosion or continuous exposure to noisy industrial machinery, artillery fire or rock music.
Some clients may even have inherited a genetic predisposition to either Tinnitus or Meniere's.
However – for many clients the problem seemed to kick in as a response to stress. Many patients will attest that the intensity of the internal noise levels, do indeed vary with stress levels. So why aren’t the experts interested ? I know I am. Both Tinnitus and Meniere’s Disease can be psycho-somatic. This is good news inasmuch as all psycho-somatic conditions are amenable to Hypnotherapy.
The Stress Connection.
When the "Mind / Body System" is under stress (physical or mental or both) it can go into spasm. Each of us is affected differently by Stress. Some people get it in the back. The back muscles seize up or go into spasm. This can eventually settle into a chronic (permanent) back pain condition. But the pain gets even worse thereafter, whenever the person is stressed out. In this sense it can act like a "warning signal".
Other people get it in the digestion system. They get Diarrhoea. This can degenerate into a painful Irritable Bowel Syndrome condition. It is there all the time - but can get even worse, whenever Stress appears.
And then for others, the hearing system is the vulnerable area. That complex system within the inner ear and brain..... whereby sounds are received and processed and register in the brain. This complex system can come under extreme physical stress, when exposed to loud noise (explosions, artillery fire, rock music, industrial noise etc). But for others, the stress can be psychological (the shock of hearing bad news, like a bereavement etc). And if this stress goes on for long enough, it can settle into a continuous Tinnitus noise. This can also act like a "warning signal" thereafter - increasing in volume, whenever you might be exposed to loud noise.
How Hypnotherapy can help.
Hypnotherapy is a technique for talking directly to the Unconscious Mind. Your Unconscious controls and operates just about everything that goes on in the Mind/Body system. And that includes the complex hearing system inside your head. Tinnitus switches on by itself. And the good news is it can also switch off. When Hypnotherapy is used skillfully, it can be a method for doing just that ! If it is possible for an individual to heal naturally from Tinnitus, then Hypnotherapy can be an ideal way to trigger such a process.
The same is true for Meniere's Disease. In this case, the fluid levels in the inner ear are affected - causing a full feeling in the head, vertigo and nausea. But again - it switches on by itself. It can also switch off.
This whole process can be like a very complicated negotiation. Letting the Unconscious know that the original stressors will not recur - and asking it to bring about changes within the complex hearing system - so that the Tinnitus noise no longer registers in the brain. With Meniere's - we are asking the Unconscious to regulate fluid production in the inner ear.
These changes are usually physical. In other words, the healing changes triggered, can be involve brain chemistry, electrical signalling patterns within the brain and neurology.
If however, these "physical" changes prove impossible, Hypnotherapy can help in two other ways. The noise is still there - but somehow no longer registers in the brain (a bit like the way anasthesia deals with physical pain). Or the noise is still there (and heard) but no longer triggers the same mental anguish).
Noise Pollution.
Most readers will be aware of the levels of noise pollution in modern society. We are blasted by loud noises in restaurants, cinemas, fitness centres, shops. Next time you’re at a wedding reception, try asking the band to turn down the volume – and notice the blank look you get ! The band members are probably already deaf, or have Tinnitus themselves ! As for rock concerts and discos….forget it !
Many middle-aged parents, desperate to escape the noise volumes in their own home, buy a Walkman for their teenage offspring. Of course the kid can now blast his ear-drums with mega-decibels from then on. As a result, many 18 year-olds have the hearing levels of people in their 70s ! And the damage is permanent. The higher and lower frequency ranges can no longer be heard. However, they can still hear conversation, in the middle ranges. So the hearing defect is usually not spotted until years later. And on top of that – they are now susceptible to Tinnitus also !
Musicians face a special Danger !
My daughter Katie was the original “lead singer” with the “Riverdance” show. She had a great time, touring the world with the show, for a number of years. However, as a professional singer – she also had to take care of her hearing. Like the other professional musicians, she always wore earplugs on stage. But “what about the audience ?” you might well ask !
As proud parents, my wife and I attended the show many times, in different parts of the world. We also had to stuff our ears with bits of dampened tissue paper…in order to be able to actually hear Bill Whelan,s wonderful music, free of distortion. I don’t know what other members of the audience did. They were mostly middle-aged folks and young children. I do know however, that the Riverdance management received many complaints from the public, about the noise level. These complaints were ignored. Unfortunately, the people who operate the sound systems in cinemas, theatres and music venues, already have impaired hearing levels themselves – thanks to their continuous exposure to loud rock music etc. So they are incapable of making accurate judgements on appropriate sound levels for the public.
We attended Riverdance when it played in Hollywood. All the big stars and celebrities were there. One night, during the interval, Jack Nicholson tentatively approached the sound man at the back of the theatre, and asked “Hey guys, could you just turn down the sound a teenchy-weenchy bit ?” Our bold Irish sound engineer looked the big Hollywood star straight in the eye, and said in his best Dublin accent ... “No !”
One of my recent Tinnitus clients is a German rock musician. He plays the drums ! He tells me that there is a special residential clinic somewhere in Germany, full of clapped-out rock musicians. They are all suffering the most excruciating aural agonies with Tinnitus. And sadly, they have no cure available for them. He also tells me that nowadays, all rock musicians wear heavy duty ear-plugs. So now they are really free to deafen the audience ! I guess the sheer noise level masks the total lack of musicality !
The problem with modern noise pollution, is that it either causes deafness or Tinnitus directly…….or pre-disposes you later in life to develop these ailments when under stress. Stress always goes for the “weakest link in the chain”.
What can we do ?
So what can we do to protect ourselves ? Well, this unashameadly paranoid “grumpy old man” has taken certain steps…….. I keep well away from pop concerts. The last one I went to was Paul Simon in the RDS. I had to flee with a ringing sound in my ears ! The odd time I’m invited to a wedding – I leave before the music starts. I click onto the “mute” button when the commercial breaks come on the telly (Haven’t you noticed that RTE Radio & Television actually increase the volume level for the ads ?) I’ve given up going to the cinema altogether. As for those modern noise abominations…discos and rock concerts – the less said the better ! And whenever I find myself waiting in my car for the lights to go red….and I hear that unmistakeable “thump-thump” racket coming from the car beside me......!
Most doctors would classify Anorexia Nervosa and Bulimia, as belonging to the “Depression” family of illnesses. However most people suffering from Depression know that they are ill – and actively want to be healed. The real puzzle about bulimics and anorexics is that they seem to actively and wilfully cause or contribute to their own sickness. Many of them do not seem to want to heal. In fact, they actively resist medical intervention ! It’s their unfortunate relatives (especially their mothers) who drag them around the country, from specialist to specialist – desperately seeking a cure. But then, it’s very hard to cure someone, who doesn’t want to be cured !
Some just want to stay the way they are.
Many internet surfers have been horrified on coming across so-called “Pro-Anorexia” websites. Some anorexics and bulimics were setting up their own personal websites and chat-lines, in order to promote their “lifestyle”. They would exchange tips with each other on how to make yourself vomit etc. They also put their pin-up photos online. These would be really disgusting photos of themselves in bikinis – like skeletons in bikinis ! They were in fact showing off and boasting to each other online – about how skinny they were (ribs showing, breasts shrivelled etc), and how they were managing to outwit “the enemy”. Fortunately most responsible internet service providers have now closed down these websites.
Strange Symptoms.
Anorexia and Bulimia have overlapping symptoms. But the symptoms are really strange. Some or all of the circumstances below are typical of these bizarre and tragic conditions.
Low self-esteem, verging on self-disgust and self-hatred is usually part of the package. Some anorexics also mutilate themselves with blades or fire. Many unfortunately succeed in killing themselves through starvation or suicide. Sufferers are invariably female – between 14 and 30 years old.
A general obsession about food and eating and a fear of eating or being “full”. They systematically starve themselves. Paradoxically they often enjoy cooking or baking for other people !
An inner compulsion to control their intake of food. This “control” thing is the central characteristic of the illness. Whenever they eat or binge, they are then compelled to punish themselves by forced vomiting. Another form of self-punishment or control, is to engage in excessive physical exercise.
The “control” thing can also manifest itself in other aspects of their lives. They are often very neat in appearance and have beautiful copperplate handwriting ! The late Dr Milton Erickson coined the term “Little Miss Perfect” to capture the essence of the anorexic. They are also obsessively orderly, in the way they organise the rigid routines of their strange "lifestyle". They are also usually very intelligent and strong-willed.
Another common characteristic, is a very close relationship with the mother. This relationship can be tempestuous. It can be loving or hostile – but very close nonetheless.
Anorexia can also be infectious, in a weird sort of way. Say a new girl joins a class of girls in secondary school. But she is anorexic. Pretty soon the teacher can notice five or six other girls starting to lose weight ! It’s a sort of “copy-cat” effect. The other girls admire the skeletal newcomer – how she seems so in control of her body. They want to be like her. In the old days, this sort of phenomenon in girls’ schools, was called “Hysteria”. In this context, ballet schools can be particularly dangerous. Some schools actually teach their pupils to make themselves vomit, after meals – so they stay nice and skinny !
A minority of anorexics and bulimics come from a dysfunctional family background – the sort of childhood that might trigger Depression in later life anyway. However, it should be said that, Anorexia is more likely to be a cause than an effect of family dysfunctionality. Having an Anorexic in the family, can be totally disruptive of normal family life !
And then of course, there’s the question of self-image. When an anorexic looks at herself in the mirror, she is either quite pleased by what she sees – or else, she thinks she’s too fat. The rest of the world thinks she looks like a hideously starved skeleton. But her own self-image is “real” to her ! At some deep level, the anorexic seems to want to "stay small" and not become a woman.
What are the causes ?
So what triggers this very strange and tragic illness ? Well, the popular reason given, is all those skinny fashion models pouting at us from almost every page of every magazine & newspaper.
Well, consider this account by Richard Morton in England in 1686, describing a 20-year old young woman.....
“ . . . like a Skeleton only clad with skin, yet there was no fever, but on the contrary a Coldness of the whole Body . . . Only her Appetite was diminished, and Digestion uneasy, with Fainting Fitts, (sic) which did frequently return upon her.”
So it would appear that Anorexia Nervosa pre-dates Christian Dior and Karl Lagerfeld ! Perhaps it was just less noticeable in previous centuries….when most people were skinny anyway (albeit involuntarily). In famine situations, an anorexic in the family was probably not seen as a particular problem !
The "Control" Fixation.
The main clue to the real cause of Anorexia and Bulimia lies in the peculiar obsession with “control”. The Anorexic actually feels good when she controls her food intake and starves. Think about that – she actually feels good ! Conversely, she feels bad (and punishes herself) when she “over-eats”. Based on the Pleasure Principle – that’s why Anorexia resists a “cure”.
The bulimic exercises control through vomiting. First she "gorges" - then she forces herself to vomit. While vomiting itself is very unpleasant, for the bulimic, there can be a sense of relief afterwards.
But where did this peculiar distortion of the Pleasure Principle originate ? Where did this strange response get learned ? One possible area is infancy or early childhood. As a baby, your whole focus is on food. That’s what life is all about, in those early months and years. And of course, that’s when you’re really learning – faster than you’ll ever learn in later life.
Changes from breast-feeding to bottle-feeding, or from liquids to solids can be traumatic for an infant. If there is friction or anger in the parental relationship, or if the mother is emotionally upset – that only adds to the trauma for the infant. Perhaps the infant desperately needs to “control” his/her situation. And food is what life is all about anyway, at that stage. So in some strange infantile pre-logical way…..the baby “learns” to gain some form of “control” over the surrounding chaos … through controlling her eating and food intake.
For the anorexic or bulimic to heal – she may need to “unlearn” any such early learning. This is best done through Hypnotherapy. But first, she needs to actually decide that she wants to heal. And that is the heart of the problem. By definition, the condition itself militates against its own destruction!
Some Differences
Every patient is different, and requires a unique, tailor-made approach. Some individuals are pure bulimic or pure anorexic. Other patients combine elements of both conditions e.g. self-starvation and forced vomiting.
Anorexia is a visible affliction. Everybody (apart from the sufferer) can see how skeletal she looks.
Bulimia however is invisible. The sufferer can look outwardly healthy, with a normal body weight. By her appearance, who would have guessed that the late Princess Diana was bulimic ? Some bulimics manage to conceal their affliction from both family and friends.
In my own practice however, I have noticed that (compared to anorexics) bulimics are more likely to acknowledge that they do "have a problem". They are more likely to seek help.
Where the problem lies
The world at large considers both Bulimia and Anorexia as diseases. However the perceived reality for the patient, may be entirely different.
The main disease for the patient is in fact Depression. For the Bulimia patient - the Bulimia behaviour pattern is actually her "therapy" for this illness - giving her some temporary relief from her mental torture. For the anorexic also - the anorexic behaviour pattern is her solution or "therapy" for the real underlying mental pain of Depression.
In order to be able to help - the therapist first needs to acknowledge and go along with this perceived reality. The real problem is always Depression. This horrific illness underpins both Anorexia and Bulimia. When the Depression is healed, Bulimia and Anorexia can fade away. They are no longer needed.
Brain Chemistry
Bulimia and Anorexia usually start in early adolescsnce. This is a period of dramatic change - both physical and mental. The physical changes are there, for all to see - as the girl changes into a woman, or the boy changes into a man. The mental changes are also evident in the mood swings, enthusiasm and intolerance of the teenager ! We need to realise that the brain is still developing during puberty.
Another possibility is that, during this extremely complex growth phase, a "glitch" occurs somewhere in the vast internal labyrinth of the brain. Perhaps this glitch then triggers the bizarre behaviour patterns of Anorexia or Bulimia ? Some anorexics, for example, seem to want to retain their slim (pre-puberty) body shape. They do not want to "grow up". If this is the case - the brain needs to heal itself. Again Hypnotherapy is perhaps the best way to activate internal self-healing in the brain.
But then - we are back to Free Will again. This is the real conundrum of both Anorexia and Bulimia. You can only heal yourself, if you actually want to heal ! Ony then can Hypnotherapy operate at its most effective.
Article by LarryMcMahon. Visit www.larrymcmahon.com for more original content like this. Reprint permission granted with this footer included.
Do you suffer from either Anorexia or Bulimia - and do you genuinely want to heal, and enjoy a normal life ? Would you like to learn how Hypnotherapy can help ? Then just click here to learn more.
A client came to see me recently, with a chronic stammering problem. He stammered continuously in every conversation. As far as he could remember, he had always had this problem. Fortunately he was still able to run a successful business – thanks to e-mail.
It was quite difficult for him to explain all this to me, because of the speech impediment. He said it was just not possible for him to talk – without a stammer. Then I had an idea. I told him I would leave the room for five minutes. But while I was away out of the room, I asked him to talk out loud, continuously, until I came back. He agreed. He was astonished to discover that he actually could talk totally without a stammer !
Of course, once I returned to the room – his stammer immediately kicked back in ! As soon as he knew that another member of the human race was in the room, he could not stop stammering.
People who suffer from a chronic blushing problem, react in a similar manner. Except, for them the problem response is triggered by other people paying visual attention to them. As soon as the blusher knows another person is looking at him or her – the blush switches on. Yet paradoxically, the same blusher cannot actually blush in the dark – or in a darkened room. Once the blusher knows he can’t be seen clearly, the blushing response de-activates. In fact one blusher I know, handles his problem by wearing dark glasses all the time. For him – once he knows his eyes can’t be seen, the blushing stops. Could this perhaps be one reason why so many celebrities and rock stars wear sunglasses ?
All eyes on You !
Most readers of this article have neither a stammering nor a blushing problem. However, many readers will be all-too-familiar with the panic response that kicks in – whenever they are asked to do some public speaking. Once you know you are being looked at, by all those people out there in the audience…… the heart starts pounding….the palms get sweaty…..the throat tightens up.....
Why is it so scary ? What is it about being paid attention to by other people, that can make us so afraid ? Ironically, many people spend their entire lives, craving a bit of attention – and thoroughly enjoying it on the all-too-rare occasions when it happens !
It is easy to understand someone having a phobia about dogs or flying or even water. After all, a dog could bite you - a plane could crash- you could drown if you fall overboard. But….. why have a phobia about people ?………after all, they can’t bite…or can they ?
Social Phobia
Social Phobia is a more common condition than you might imagine. Next time you’re in a crowded church, notice the people sitting near the door. That’s where people with Social Phobia invariably sit – so they can make a quick getaway, if it all gets too much for them. Think of the friends you have, who never go to parties or receptions or weddings. The panic response is generally stronger in formal settings, or where the “other people” are seen as high status individuals.
What causes this Panic Response ?
But how does this particular phobia get installed ? Where and how can an individual learn to be afraid of other people ? Early childhood is one likely setting. When the young child is already of a sensitive disposition, he or she is predisposed to be afraid anyway. All it takes then, is for the infant to be in a situation where he or she is already afraid – and then to be exposed to other people at the same time. Other people then somehow get “wired in” with the total experience. In time “Other People” can become the automatic trigger for the panic response.
There are so many possibilities for this sort of learning to occur in very early childhood. Think what it must be like, for a new-born infant who has to remain in an incubator – or endure much-needed surgery. Or imagine the trauma for a child given up for adoption. First she loses her own natural mother, when she needs her most. Then in whichever institution it may be, perhaps she bonds with a substitute “mother” in the staff. She then loses that mother, when she is transferred to a foster-mother. She then loses that “mother” also. By the time she arrives in her final adoptive home, she may have suffered two or more “bereavements”. Whenever the child is suffering, or feeling bad, and people are involved – this type of “learning” can take place.
One of my clients was a senior partner in an accounting practice. As part of his job, he had to attend frequent receptions. You know the sort of gathering – usually in a hotel meeting room – with everyone standing around in their suits, chatting away, and clutching their gin & tonics. He used to dread these all-too-frequent occasions – and could never understand why he felt so uncomfortable and panicky. Sometimes, in the middle of one of these gatherings, he would literally have to dash from the room – heading straight for the men’s room, to throw up !
We happened to find out how it all started, many years previously as a young boy. It was on his first day at school ! He was already feeling bad anyway, because he was away from his mother for the first time ever. He was crying, as youngsters often do. And there he was, in that crowded schoolroom – surrounded by lots of strangers, babbling away. The bad feeling was actually caused by the absence of the mother. But in his childish unconscious mind, it got linked with crowds of talking strangers in an enclosed space. From then on, it was the crowds that triggered the problem !
One shudders to think about those unfortunate terrified youngsters trapped in that school gym in Beslan – and the horrors that ensued. That was their first day back at school also. What have they learned, at an unconscious level ? How will they cope for the rest of their lives ? How will they feel in crowded spaces, from now on ?
